


Good to Me (well for the most part)

by kwonbagel



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Attempt at Humor, Ballet Dancer Huang Ren Jun, Coffee Shops, Cute Huang Ren Jun, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, First Meetings, Fluff, Idol Na Jaemin, Insecure Lee Donghyuck | Haechan, Light Angst, M/M, Minor Character Death, Na Jaemin is Whipped, Sad Huang Ren Jun, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings, loosely based on accidentally in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-23
Updated: 2019-02-23
Packaged: 2019-11-01 23:18:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 24,717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17876657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kwonbagel/pseuds/kwonbagel
Summary: Renjun wants to pursue his dream and Jaemin just wants a fucking cup of coffee.





	Good to Me (well for the most part)

**Author's Note:**

> I recommend listening to beautiful time whilst reading because why not.
> 
> Bear with me pls, it gets better as you read.

As Renjun stood there, stomach growling at him, he realized he probably should have at least grabbed his wallet.  _ Good fucking job, Renjun. I guess it’s time to put on the straps and get on the pole tonight,  _ he complained to himself as he walked down the street, smelling the food from the vendors, one, in particular, sticking out to him. His stomach growled aggressively at him as he clutched at it.  _ Those churros smell so- _

His thought was interrupted when he was knocked off his feet. “My coffee! Fucking great, asshole,” the boy he ran into, who had coffee dripping off his face, cursed as he stared down at his white sweater that was now stained by the drink. 

“I’m so sorry!” Renjun grabbed napkins from the closest stand, ignoring the vendor yelling at him for taking them, and handed them to the boy. The taller boy glared at him before wiping his shirt (note unsuccessfully) and pettily throwing the dirty napkins at Renjun’s face. “Excuse me,” Renjun just stared back at him, not knowing how to react. 

“Are you dumb or something? I’m Na Jaemin,” Jaemin scoffed, holding his chin up so high it looked like he was about to choke to death (which Renjun honestly wouldn’t have minded). 

“Okay, Na fucking Jaemin, I said I’m sorry though I’m sure you were too busy with your huge ego to notice me about to run into you. Now bye bitch,” Renjun shoved Jaemin away before walking past, fuming.  _ What an ass. _

“Hey, come back here!” Renjun heard Jaemin, whose voice was full of disbelief, call for him from behind. Renjun paused in his step then continued forward, rolling his eyes. 

Renjun was turning on the street corner, to get to the road lined by clothing stores, when he saw them. His grandfather’s security guards searching for, more than likely, the small boy. 

 

(“Why do you want to waste all the potential you have just to stoop so low and be a dancer?” Grandfather Taeil set down his tea on the tray between them, ignorantly raising his eyebrow at Renjun. Renjun opened his mouth to answer but was immediately cut off. “Why would you want to leave me alone just to go to a school where your good-for-nothing father attended?”

“I’m not leaving you, grandfather, and besides dance is my potential,” Renjun stared back at his Grandfather, equally as calm, before adding, “And mother attended there too.”

“Do not bring up your mother,” Taeil could barely be heard and he paused to collect himself. “My answer is still no, my child. I don’t want you going to go to Seoul as long as I’m still alive. I want you to take over the business, where your real potential lies.” 

“I thought you would say that,” Renjun dejectedly walked back to his room instead of fighting back for once. He was just tired. 

He sat down at his desk, where a photo of a happy couple rested. Picking it up, Renjun sighed.  _ What why would they say if they were here right now?  _ He weakly smiled down at it, bittersweet. It was a photo of his parents’ graduation, smiling at each other, thinking they had their whole future ahead of them. Not a day goes by that he didn’t think about the accident. (Probably because you have a photo of them on your desk but okay Renjun, be a depressed kid.) Renjun sighed for what felt like the millionth time that day before he made choice for himself for the first time in his life.  _ I’m going to dance with or without your support, Grandfather, and I’m going to prove you wrong.  _ Renjun thought determinedly before booking a ticket for Seoul.)

 

“Shit, he must’ve tracked the credit card and saw I bought a plane ticket,” Renjun cursed to himself. “Once again, good going you utter idiot.”

As he was distracted yelling at himself, the guards took notice and were walking toward him. Renjun’s eyes widened as he started to walk backward then turning and breaking out into a run.

“Come back, Mr. Huang!” One of the guards shouted at him and as they followed right behind him. 

As Renjun was backtracking, his eyes were jerking everywhere.  _ Shit, shit, shit. What do I do?  _ He could feel his blood pumping through his veins as he panicked internally. He took a sharp turn back into the street lined with vendors. 

As Renjun ran back into the crowded area and pulled a boy, who was sitting at a coffee shop table by himself, into a passionate kiss, accidentally knocking over the boy’s coffee cup in the process, as the guards passed. Renjun almost reluctantly pulled away from the other boy's soft lips when he was sure they were gone and opened his mouth to apologize. He never got the chance to. 

“Not you again!” Renjun groaned, letting go of a speechless Jaemin’s, still stained, sweater when he realized who it was. “Of course it’s you out of all people.” 

“What the hell was that?” Jaemin looked up at him from his seat, eyebrow raised. 

“If you raise that eyebrow anymore, you’re going to kill a bird,” Renjun simply observed rather than answering. Jaemin, who looked offended, opened his mouth to say something, but Renjun cut him off before he could say anything. “Goodbye, Na Jaemin. I hope I never see you again or I’m going to get coffee and shove it so far up your ass, you’re going to be sneezing coffee beans until you’re in your coffin, overflowing in it.” To be fair, Renjun was having a really bad week.

“Very unlikely, I’m going to be cremated,” Jaemin smirked at him.  _ Weird flex but okay. You do you. _

“Then you’ll be roasted espresso and I will spread your ashes around a coffea plant as fertilizer,” Renjun poked his little finger into Jaemin’s chest.

“Is that even a threat?” Jaemin laughed mockingly, easily swatting Renjun’s finger away. “Try again sweetie.” Jaemin stood up, throwing away his second attempt at drinking coffee. “Bye kid,” Jaemin crouched down to his height and patted him on the head.

“What did you say?” Renjun’s voice was laced with poison, as he stared deadly at Jaemin. A loud slap sounded through the street as Jaemin cupped his cheek in shock. People around them went silent as they stared at the two, taking out their phones to film the commotion. “Fuck you,” Renjun spat, glaring at everyone as he stalked off. 

 

~

 

Renjun groaned in shame as he read the latest news on his phone. “Crazy man assaults famous idol, Na Jaemin,” Renjun slammed his head onto the library’s table, shhhed (shhh is a great seventeen song by the way) by the librarian (which he later learned was Wonwoo, a psychology major and was actually just the library assistant). He apologized and fixed his glasses, which were fake but he decided to wear them in case he ran into his grandfather’s guards again.

Renjun had arrived at Neo Performing Arts University that night. Everyone around him was whispering and shooting glances at him. Now he understood why.  _ Damn you, Na Jaemin. Everyone thinks there’s something wrong with me and it’s my first day here!  _ In retrospect, he shouldn’t have slapped someone in a public place, swarmed with people. No matter how much of an ass Jaemin was. 

“It’s okay, Renjun,” his roommate, Jaehyun, patted him on the back in comfort. “Just ignore them. They’ll forget about it as soon as Doyoung does something later.” Jaehyun was in his junior year but got stuck with Renjun, a freshman transfer, due to an overflowing amount of people that year. Not that he minded, he had already taken a liking to Renjun.

“Who’s Doyoung?” Renjun tilted his head in confusion as he heard the foreign name. 

Jaehyun sighed, “There are three guys that are popular in our school, for different reasons. So be careful when you speak to them. First, you have Zhong Chenle. He is a year younger than you but due to his efforts, he is in your year as well. It was rumored he is an illegitimate child of a very rich family a few years back, but you wouldn’t know that behind his smile. One glance at his smile and even the opposing basketball team he plays against is immediately powerless. Oh, and he’s the student council president. He was voted in unanimously and is very admired.” Jaehyun took a sip of his water and cleared his throat before continuing. 

“Then there’s Kim Doyoung, the one I mentioned. He is a junior like me and is the school’s best boxer. He is best known as the devil of neo. Whatever you do, do NOT make eye contact with him for more than three seconds. The last person known to has been reported as missing ever since. Lastly, there’s Na-”. Jaehyun was cut off as a scream sounded outside.

“He’s here!” One of the female students yelled as everyone shoved to get through the library’s door and crowd the hall. Renjun and Jaehyun stood up to see what the commotion was.

Renjun mouth dropped and he scrambled to pull Jaehyun in front of him.  _ Fuck, it’s him.  _ Renjun wanted to cry at his luck. Girls were screaming as they crowded around Jaemin. 

“And lastly, there’s Na Jaemin,” Jaehyun looked back at Renjun, who was screaming internally, sympathetically. “Precious idol loved by everyone and childhood friends with Zhong Chenle.”

“Why does he have to go here too?!?” Renjun whined into Jaehyun’s back. He looked over Jaehyun’s shoulder and made eye contact with Jaemin. They both stared at each other with wide eyes before jerking their heads away in anger. The girls around Jaemin took notice and looked over at him. 

“That's rough, buddy,” Jaehyun solemnly nodded.

As they recognized him, they began to whisper and Renjun stood there awkwardly before he felt a rough tap on his shoulder. He glanced back and was met by a radiant boy, who was throwing a displeased look at him, and two other boys behind him. “Do you need something, Donghyuck?” Jaehyun looked exhausted by the thought of Donghyuck even being there. 

“So it was you who slapped Nana,” Donghyuck ignored Jaehyun completely, instead sizing Renjun up before laughing. “Do you even actually go here? Are stalking Jaemin?” 

“Of course I do,” Renjun rolled his eyes in annoyance. “And I’m not a stalker, but he’s an asshole.” 

“Then where’s your student ID?” Donghyuck crossed his arms, looking at him expectantly. 

“Why do you need to know? You’re not security,” Renjun shot Jaehyun an exasperated look.  _ What’s this guy's issue?  _

“No, but we’re known as the goddesses, myself, Jeno, and my little brother, Jisung. And we are just concerned about the safety of our fellow student. I have a right as a student here to be worried, no?” Donghyuck earnestly batted his eyes as he gestured to the two other boys behind him. One just happily nodded at Donghyuck as if they weren’t bullying a student while the other one just crossed his arm like a child, seeming like he was forced to be there. 

“But how are you a goddess when you have a face like that? It looks like you’ve been stuck in Tartarus.” Renjun paused as if he felt empathy for the other boy. “I suppose nobody can help their genetics.” Jaehyun stood there in shock as Jeno eyes widened.

“I like him,” Jisung said simply, a hint of a smile appearing slowly. 

Donghyuck nose flared and held his hand on his heart in fake anguish, “Security!” One of the guards came over immediately and asked what the problem was. “He doesn’t belong here,” Donghyuck pointed at Renjun, who scoffed back at him. 

“Sir, I’m going to need you to show me your ID,” The security informed Renjun, who nodded in understanding and looked in his backpack for his Student ID. It was not anywhere to be found.

Renjun frantically scrambled through his backpack again.  _ Shit shit shit, I just had it.  _

“Is there a problem?” The security guard looked unsure of Renjun.

“Um, just one second. I know I have it in here,” Renjun looked over at Jaehyun in a panic. 

Jaehyun placed his hand on his shoulder, “I think you left it in the library. I’ll go get it for you.” He started to walk toward the library door but was blocked off by the goddesses. “Excuse me, I-” He moved toward the left to go past but so did Donghyuck. Donghyuck simply raised his eyebrow, picking at his fingernails. 

“I’m sorry sir, but I’m going to have to escort you off of campus,” the security guard dragged him away as Renjun tried to fit back.

“Don’t worry Renjun, I’ll handle it just wait at Paradise Cafe until then!” Jaehyun shouted to him in reassure and Renjun just sighed.  _ Why is it always me? _

  
  


~

 

As Renjun sipped his tea at Paradise Cafe, (because coffee was officially ruined for him due to Jaemin) he took notice of the silent commotion a few tables away from him. Zhong Chenle was sitting across a man in his twenties and his forehead was lined with worry. “Don’t think just because you are loved at your school that you’ll ever earn favor in this family. You are still just our father’s illegitimate child and you would be better off hiding like your coward mother,” the man spat at Chenle, wanting nothing, yet everything, to do with his existence.

Chenle visibly choked down his pride and sweetly smiled, “Of course brother, you’re correct as always. I will work even harder from now on.”

“I didn’t say-” he was cut off by Renjun, who had walked over and poured his tea all over him. The man shot out of his seat, which was knocked to the ground from the force, and gasped in shock.

“Oops, my bad,” Renjun offered him a single measly napkin and sent a wink toward Chenle. Chenle looked beyond grateful for what happened.

“Don’t think we’re not done here,” Chenle’s brother pointed at him threateningly before he stormed off, napkin sticking to his suit.

Chenle gestured for Renjun to sit down at the table with him and showed him a smile, genuine this time.  _ Jaehyun really wasn’t joking, was he? Damn.  _ “Are you okay?” 

“Don't worry about it, I am used to it,” Chenle sighed, head rested on his hand. “You didn’t have to help, but I’m extremely grateful.”

“Of course I had to. Nobody deserves to be treated like dirt. And by the way, I won’t tell anybody,” Renjun reassured Chenle as he fidgeted with the table’s sugar packets. “I’m Renjun by the way, I’m also in your year.”

“Thank you, my name is Chenle,” Chenle pushed his pastry over to Renjun. “I am forever in your debt if you ever need anything-” 

“Actually,” Renjun cut him off, placing the packets down to grab a piece of the pastry. “I know I came into the year late, but I was wondering if I could still get into the dance program? You’re in the program, aren’t you?”

Chenle bit his lip warily. “Well, we’ve already held tryouts and the head of the department is very strict about these things…” 

“But could you at least bring it up with him? Please, I really want this,” Renjun put on his best pleading look.  _ I guess all those years of watching grandfather do the same seem to have paid off. _

Chenle sighed but nodded his head, “I will try my best. I’m sure we’d be glad to have someone like you in the program.” Chenle stood up and pushed in his chair. “Thank you again.”

Renjun smiled at him as he left.  _ Thank god somebody’s sensible here.  _ He started to wipe up the tea puddling on the table when somebody sat down across from him.

“Here you go,” Jaehyun handed him a card. “It’s your temporary ID for now.”

“Thank you Jaehyun for going out of your way to do this,” Renjun made sure to secure it by putting in his wallet. As he opened his wallet to put it in, he noticed a similar card but this one had his face on it.  _ Oh, are you fucking kidding me?!?!  _ Instead of telling Jaehyun that he found his original student ID, he decided against it and just nervously smiled at him. “How about we just go back to the dorm now? It’s getting late.” Before Jaehyun could even open his mouth, Renjun was already dragging him out of his seat by the wrist. 

Jaehyun broke the silence as they entered their dorm a few minutes later. “Renjun, my one piece of advice I have for you is the devil works hard, but Lee Donghyuck works harder.”

“I’ve noticed,” Renjun threw his bag onto his desk and sighed in exhaustion due to the day finally coming to an end. His brain mushed into nothing and only one thought went through his head,  _ Donghyuck, you’re a complete spoiled bitch.  _

He fell onto the uncomfortable twin bed, glasses still on, and murmured, “Goodnight Jaehyun. Thank you again for helping me.” But Jaehyun didn’t hear due to being already knocked out on the floor and Renjun softly laughed before turning off the lamp. The room fell pitch-black and soft snores were all that could be heard.

 

~

 

As Renjun sat down at a seat in the very back of the classroom, he clenched his teeth in disdain. The last empty spot in Mr. Lee’s chemistry course (Why he had to take it when he was a psychology major? Don’t ask him.)  happened to be right next to Na fucking Jaemin. He glared into the back of Jaehyun’s neck.  _ I’m literally going to kill him for this.  _ Jaehyun had insisted on getting breakfast at Bang Chan’s All Organics, resulting in an hour wait and two empty wallets. ‘Sorry,’ Jaehyun mouthed to him as he contently sipped his organic tea in the smallest cup known to exist.  _ Eight fucking bucks for that? Unbelievable.  _

Renjun rolled his eyes on focused back on the board. He felt a pair of eyes on his face from next to him but he elected to ignore it. He laid his head on the table and doodled on his notes (meaning a blank sheet of paper).  _ Was it really the best idea to come here? I can’t even be honest about my own appearance to anybody, not that they care. They completely hate me anyway because of that salty bitch,  _ Renjun had to repress a scowl while he also silently laughed at his own chemistry joke.  _ Whatever, they can just-  _

“Is there something amusing that you’d like to share, Huang Renjun,?” Mr. Lee stopped his lecture to interrupt Renjun’s thoughts. Lee Taeyong, head of the science department, and often referred to as a witch. Jaehyun had told him it was best to stay in his graces otherwise he’d be put through hell for the rest of his educational career. Mark Lee would know. 

 

(“Whomst?” Renjun knotted his forehead at the foreign name. But Jaehyun just waved it off for another time.)

 

“No, sir,” Renjun gulped, sitting up straight. He offered a shy smile to Mr. Lee but he just glared at him even more sternly. 

“In that case, would you care to show me how to do a sigfig?” Mr. Lee politely offered him the expo marker after writing a problem on the board. 

Renjun confidently nodded his head. Donghyuck could be heard whispering “What the hell is a stigfig?” to which Jisung could also be heard replying with “You have a fig bar? Hand it over bitch.” Renjun messily jotted down his work before circling his final answer. 

“Okay, well done,” Taeyong nodded in an attempt to be impressed. “ As you may know, or not, one of the essential minerals in the human body is salt. Now can you tell me how much salt is in the average adult body?”

Renjun internally groaned.  _ Of course, he had to ask a difficult question about salt out of all things.  _ (For those of you that don’t know your elements: salt = NaCl = ‘Na’ Jaemin. Thanks for joining my ted talks.) 

“No? How about what would happen if you fill a glass to the brim with ice water and the ice melts?” Taeyong tested him further. Renjun just silently stared at his writing on the board, embarrassment creeping onto his face as his cheeks went up in flames. Taeyong gestured from to sit back down, which Renjun scrambled to do so. Jaemin snickered at him and Renjun shot back a sneer. 

“I would like to make myself clear now. You are here to learn under my teaching and you will respect that. And I suggest you get off that phone, Lee Donghyuck.” Taeyong directed at Donghyuck, who immediately slid his phone into the desk, acting like he did nothing wrong. Taeyong took a deep breath. “Your year will be a good one as long as you do as I ask. Now, can anybody explain….” Renjun went in and out of consciousness for the rest of the class. 

  
  


~

 

“I really need a job,” Renjun said into an empty ramen cup that he stole from Jaehyun’s drawer when he was in a class. “This is just sad, really sad.”  _ Maybe BangChan’s All Organics is hiring...  _ Renjun decided to get dressed and go around looking since he didn’t have any more classes that day and truthfully no friends either. 

Dejectedly, Renjun walked out of BangChan’s All Organics, still jobless.   _ Dammit, I really thought nobody would actually want to work there,  _ Renjun thought when he saw how many employees BangChan had. He sat down at the tables outside the cafe. As he sipped on his drink that cost seven fucking dollars, his eyes wandered across the street and saw a for hire sign. He stood up so fast, the chair fell on the ground. Cars honked at him as he bolted across the street, but he was too tunnel visioned on the coffee shop, that he didn’t notice.

He took the sign off the window and walked into the small shop. He walked up to the counter where a boy smiling at him stood behind. “Hello! How do you brew?” Renjun glanced down at his nametag that read Jungwoo. 

“Hi, I saw that you were hiring and-” Renjun didn’t get to finish explaining as Jungwoo start squealing while jumping up and down.  _ Oh god no. Do I detect optimism? _

“YOU’RE HIRED,” Jungwoo jumped over the counter and shook Renjun. He took off his apron and shoved it into Renjun’s arms. “I can finally go home! You can start working immediately!” 

“Uh...I don’t know how to-”

“Yukhei! I’m finally coming home!” Jungwoo yelled between tears as he ran out the door.

“-work any of the machines. Right, ok. You fucked yourself over yet again, Renjun,” Renjun tied the apron on and looked up videos on how to coffee shop. 

The day had gone decently well for his first day without training.

 

(Meaning it fucking sucked. 

“What the fuck, Karen!” Renjun said as the machine kept spraying him. “You said to press the button after it clicked!” He had looked up on YouTube how to work a coffee machine but somehow managed to accidentally click on how to work a frozen yogurt machine instead.

Outside the doors, customers could be seen looking concerned toward the back.)

 

He had finished hand washing all the cups used from the day and put them inside a crate. He lifted it to put them on a table, where he could sit while drying them.  _ This is heavier than I thought,  _ Renjun struggled to get a good grip on it and just like that he felt it slip through his hands. He fell onto his knees dramatically and yelled as the cups smashed all around him.

“SHIT SHIT SHIT!” Renjun threw the washcloth down on the floor in frustration.  _ And there goes my paycheck.  _

“Hey Renjun, how’d job-” Jaehyun greeted him as he walked into the dorm. He was quieted by Renun placing his hand over his mouth.

“Don’t say a single thing, please do not make a sound, and leave me the fuck alone. I am going to sleep,” Renjun didn’t even bother taking off his fake glasses or jeans before sinking into the bed.

  
  


~

 

**president chenle:** Do you have any classes after 2?

 

**dasi ren ren ren:** I have intro to psych at 12:30 and that’s all

 

**president chenle:** Ok I have dance until 2

**president chenle:** Meet me there pls

 

Renjun tapped Chenle, who had his airpods in, on the shoulder. “What’d you need?”

“Take a wild guess buddy,” Chenle smiled down at him. Renjun rolled his eyes but could help but smile and let out a puff of air. 

“What?”

“I talked to someone at the dance program who highly recommended-” Chenle tried to tell Renjun but was cut off by him jumping up and down while yelling.

“They’re letting me into the program!?!?” Renjun eyes lit up as he gripped Chenle’s sleeve. Chenle nodded, amused.

“I wanted to bring you in to meet everyone,” Chenle tugged him into the building. Renjun followed behind enthusiastically. They stopped at a door labelled ‘Lee Donghyuck’ and the smile was immediately wiped from Renjun’s face. “I know, you and him aren’t on the best terms, but please try. He’s the one who got you in and you don’t want to be kicked out from the program.” 

Renjun nodded in unwilling understanding before opening the door. Donghyuck stood there with his back facing them, twirled around, and gave a small wave. (He most definitely didn’t practice this.) “Hi Chenle! And Renchew?” Donghyuck gave a split second look of distaste before he covered it again with a grin. 

“Renjun,” he gritted his teeth to stop himself from throttling Donghyuck right then and there against Chenle’s bullshit advice. 

“Okay, Runchun. What do you want?” Donghyuck smiled at him, extremely fake.

“He’s here to meet everyone,” Chenle informed him.

“Okay, just one second,” Donghyuck stuck his head out of the doorway and deeply inhaled air before yelling through the building. “YAH! MARK LEE! GET IN HERE!”

“Yeah?” Mark, a fairly athletic looking boy, walked in.

“We have a new member in the program. Even though he didn’t try out like everyone else.”  _ But I thought...nevermind. _

“That’s cool, sup bro,” Mark nodded at him, speaking in English. Korean was enough of a challenge for Renjun. “What’s up?”

“Yo dude, how...far…. up?” Renjun squeaked awkwardly and punched him lightly on the shoulder. Donghyuck gave him a side glance of disgust while Chenle sighed into his hands. 

“Aren’t you supposed to be at a student council meeting,” Donghyuck turned to Chenle to break the awkward silence (caw caw caw) that had followed. 

Chenle looked down at his wrist to check his watch. “You’re right. Well, I got to go. You can take care of him?”

“Of course,” Donghyuck smirked over at Renjun and Chenle left. “Ok, idiots, I’m going home now. Renjun, your Mark’s assistant for whatever he needs. Mark, we don’t want him getting too comfortable just yet, give him the hardest things that need to be done as...let’s say as a right of passage.” Renjun used all of his will to stop himself from rolling his eyes and roughly adjusted his glasses.

“We do?” Mark asked dumbly. 

“Yes, you do,” He clapped his hands together and went close to Renjun’s ear to whisper. “Good hyuck, bitchass.” He grabbed his bag and slowly walked out of the room, taking the cold atmosphere with him.

“Did he just make a pun about himself?” Renjun stared at where Donghyuck was once standing.  _ What a narcissist.  _

“Get used to it, he loves anything involving himself,” Mark pulled out a piece of paper and hands it to Renjun. “I need you to get all of these for the upcoming party hosted by the program.”  _ Balloons, caterer, microphones, audio system, streamers….etc etc. Damn, this is a lot.  _

“Do I have a budget?” Renjun squinted at him, hesitant to use his new wallet, that was already beginning to feel light, filled with his recent paycheck.

“Here,” Mark hands him eight dollars and Renjun just stared into Mark’s skull. “Hold on that’s not it...and eighty-three cents.” Mark placed the coins in his palm but one quarter fell off and rolled into the vent. “Fifty-eight cents.”

Renjun groaned and rolled the money in his hand as Mark left him to his chore.  _ Shit shit shit. I’m seriously starting to regret my life choices right now. _

Renjun balled up a piece of paper and threw it into an already overflowing trash bin.  _ How the fuck am I going to buy all of this? It’s not like I have access to grandfather’s bank account anymore.  _ He slammed his head onto to the desk, immediately regretting it, and rubbed his head.

“Right I give up for the night,” Renjun went to lay in his small bed. As soon as his head hit the pillow, an idea came. He bolted up and grabbed for his phone. Renjun unlocked his phone, went through his contacts, and hit call. “What if we do a fundraiser?” 

  
  


~

 

“I’m fucked,” Jaemin blurted out as soon as their math tests were handed back. Renjun looked down at the test from the corner of his eyes.  _ He got a 43. Wow, I love karma.   _ Renjun held his breath to try and stop himself from laughing, unsuccessfully. 

Jaemin whipped his head to the side, taken aback by the laughter. The sound would have been sweet to his ears if it weren’t for the circumstances. “As if someone like you could do better,” Jaemin scoffed, cheeks burning red.

“I think even your cheeks disagree with you on this one,” Renjun stifled. He held up his test he got a ninety on in ridicule when Mr. Qian handed it to him. “You were saying?” Jaemin just puffed his cheeks out and looked down at his desk, arms crossed. _ If he wasn’t being so childish right now, that would kind of have been endearing. _

“Right, you guys did not exceed my expectations for you individually. Did you guys even look over the material? At all?” Qian Kun stared them down with cold eyes and Renjun could feel his smirk fall. Jaemin sent him a smug look and stuck out his tongue.  _ So fucking childish.  _

“-and I’ve decided the best way to raise your grades is to start holding you accountable,” Renjun caught the end of Mr. Qian’s lecture after tuning back in. “You will have to start going into the library for at least an hour a week and I will know because you’re going to be required to log your time with the librarian. I will be pairing you with your deskmate to tutor one another. And lastly, we will start having a test every Friday.” The class started to groan in protest but was stopped by Kun holding up his hand. “Don’t even, this was on you.”  

Renjun and Jaemin stared at each other for a good minute before the pair bolted up together. “Do I have to be paired with him?” Jaemin pointed his thumb over at Renjun. Renjun started to snap back but was cut off by Mr. Qian.

“Don’t even start you two. When I say do this, does it look like I mean something else?” He looked at them unexpectedly and they slightly shook their head. “Okay, then do it.” He looked down at his watch to check the time. “Well, that’s all for class today. Have a good rest of the day everyone and remember to study for once in your sad lives.” He retreated to his desk to water his plump cactus (that he named Fat Kun, please don’t ask), looking as if he didn’t just make a classroom full of students want to cry. 

Chenle walked over to the stunned pair. “So that was pretty intense-” He noticed the two just sitting there. “Are you guys okay?” He gave Jaemin a hard shove, and Jaemin proceeded to ungracefully fall off his chair. Jaemin kicked his sandal up into the air, caught it, and propelled it perfectly square on Chenle’s face. 

“What the fuck, Jaemin!?!” Chenle pinched his nose in pain, blood running out. Renjun didn’t even hesitate to grab the fallen sandal and repeatedly beat Jaemin with it on the latter’s shoulder. 

As they sat in Nurse Boo’s office later, Renjun had a sly smile implanted on his face, “So I thoroughly enjoyed that.” The other two just painfully groaned in response. 

  
  


~

  
  


“You know you could at least warn me of these things before you do them. You have my phone number, is it that hard? Do you even care about your reputation or how much work I have put into your name?,” Jaemin’s manager, Sicheng, dragged his hands down his face from stress. 

Jaemin looked down at the phone, showing the recent news. ‘Rookie idol Jaemin caught on a date with his assaulter!’ and another one: ‘Na Jaemin reveals his sexuality in recent events!!’ Jaemin rolled his eyes,  _ it’s not like they didn’t already know I’m gay.  _ “It wasn’t even a date, Sicheng. He’s my study partner.”

“Oh,” Sicheng said simply. Jaemin could visibly see the weight being taken off his shoulder and his forehead unwrinkle. “Why didn’t you just tell me that?”

“You don’t ever stop talking,” Jaemin just stared at him, wondering why he chose to hire him. He grabbed for the pot of coffee on Sicheng’s desk to pour for himself but Sicheng swatted his hand away. Jaemin pouted. “I just want my fucking coffee! Why does everyone keep ruining it? Coffee is my blood and soul...well more like my addiction, but that’s beside the point.”

“What’s his name so I can clear all of this up,” Sicheng waved him off. 

“Huang...Huang,” Jaemin’s eyes light up in realization. “He’s Hwang Xuxi.” 

“The famous Chinese rapper? He looks a little too short in the photo, Jaemin.”

“Oh, right,” Jaemin slapped himself on the head when Chenle texted him back. “Huang Renjun, I knew that.”

“Obviously.” 

 

~

 

As Renjun planned his fundraiser for the dance program, he accepted his fate.  _ I’m going to get kicked out and I’m not going to- _

“Whatever you’re doing, please stop. You’re going to get wrinkles and your anxiety is going to make me anxious. And I really don’t need those bad vibes currently,” Jaemin was sitting across him in the library.

Renjun ignored him as usual as he saw Chenle collecting his stuff in his peripheral. He called out to the fellow Chinese boy. 

“Chenle, could you help me out?” Renjun pleaded with him, completely drained of ideas. (Like this author.) “I don’t know what to do for the fundraiser.”

“I’m sorry, I’m supposed to be meeting someone right now,” Chenle gave him an apologetic look, fiddling with his sweater in an attempt to get rid of his nerves. 

“It’s about time,” Jaemin said knowingly. Renjun tilted his head in confusion, which Jaemin took notice of. “He has a date tonight,” Jaemin shimmed his shoulders at Chenle, who rolled his eyes. 

 

(It was in the moments they could catch alone, away from everyone else, where time was non-existent that Chenle had fallen for Jisung. 

It was moments like when Jisung simply watched Chenle dancing, even though he could be practicing himself, making sure he wasn’t overworking himself that Chenle realized Jisung was not like his brother, Donghyuck. 

It was moments like when Jisung would stop him practicing basketball hours after team practice that Chenle realized his heart wouldn’t slow down in his chest. 

But it was when Jisung pulled him from his homework to dance to a song without a care in a world that Chenle knew he was too far gone in love.) 

 

“You know, this reminds me of the time when Jaemin-”. Chenle never got to finish the story because Jaemin pushed him all the way out of the library while screeching “NOOOO!”. Wonwoo by then had set down his book that he was reading to grab them by the necks and throw them out of his temple. 

_ Jaemin has a set of lungs on him.  _ Renjun stared off like he was in The Office.  _ No shit, Renjun. He’s an idol. Wait, HE’S AN IDOL.  _ Renjun, with a scheming smile, scrambled to collect all of his materials and his papers flew everywhere as he ran out the door, earning a disapproving glance from Wonwoo. 

Huang Renjun had the perfect idea for his fundraiser. 

  
  


~

  
  


“Ya! Where do you think you’re going?” Renjun called out to Jaemin. They were supposed to be studying but Jaemin was about to go off campus instead. 

“Why do you care?” Jaemin tugged out his earbuds, turning around to face Renjun, whose arms were crossed. 

“We’re supposed to be studying for math right now. We have a math test this Friday. I don’t care if you want to embarrass yourself by being the bottom of the class again. But I’m just going to tell you now that the headlines are going to say, ‘Omg, up-and-coming Korean idol fails college!’”

“Fine, let’s go and get this shit over with,” Jaemin groaned and began to walk in the direction of the library. Jaemin held an arm out in front of Jaemin’s chest to stop him. “What?”

“I have somewhere else we can go without pissing off Wonwoo. Follow me,” Renjun walked off and Jaemin sighed in exasperation but followed behind him anyway. 

“Where are we going?” Jaemin looked, nervously, around the dark alley Renjun lead him into. “Renjun?”

“Just hurry, only a little bit longer,” Renjun tugged him down further into the narrow alley. “In here, go in.” He pointed at a door. 

Jaemin opened the door and insisted Renjun go first. (No, he won’t admit it was just in case there was a murderer waiting and in this case, he would strike Renjun instead of him.)  _ Wow, and people actually look up to him _ , Renjun mocked the idol internally. He didn’t hesitate to go through the doorway. Jaemin followed after a few seconds and was immediately pushed by Renjun up a small set of stairs. “What-”.  A blinding set of lights flash on and was pointed straight at him. In front of the stage was a crowd of students screaming “NA JAEMIN”, so loud Jaemin thought his ears were beginning to bleed, while waving green glow sticks. 

“Up next, an all-time exclusive performance, give it for Na Jaemin!” Renjun spoke into the microphone attached to its stand and dramatically gestured to Jaemin. He started to walk off to the side of the stage while giving heart fingers to Jaemin. “Love you, you got this,” Renjun whispered while indicating for Jaemin to go to the microphone.

“Um, good evening. I’m Na Jaemin,” Jaemin addressed the crowd, who began to scream even louder. Renjun sent a signal to Mark, who was in the control room, and music started to play through the theater. Not just any song, but his debut title track. 

People, dressed in black, came onto the stage and danced behind him. Jaemin looked, bewildered, at Renjun with wide eyes. Renjun nodded at him encouragement and Jaemin hoped Renjun could see how badly he wanted to stab him with a glow stick. 

The crowd went wild as Jaemin began to perform reluctantly against his will.  _ I can’t disappoint the fans, no matter how much of an asshole he is.  _ He wouldn’t ever admit it to anyone, but secretly he loved being able to perform in front of only a small crowd and gave it his all. 

“Good job bro,” Mark slapped Renjun, who almost fell forward, on the shoulder when he ran over to him. “How much did tickets costs?”

“They cost eight dollars plus two for a glow stick if they wanted one,” Renjun told him in between them screaming with the crowd. “There are about a hundred people here.”

“That’s around a thousand dollars! This is going to be the best party that the dance program has ever thrown!” Mark jumped up and down, shouting excitedly and Renjun joined him.

“Can you take care of the rest? I have to go now.” 

“Of course,” Mark said to an already gone Renjun. He still had a math test to study for, after all. 

  
  


~

 

“Why has Jaemin been yelling for the past ten minutes?” Chenle walked over to Jisung, who was in front of a window and was silently watching Jaemin and Renjun in the empty classroom.

“Something about his hat, I don’t know-” Jisung interlaced his hand into Chenle’s. 

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN MY BUCKET HAT WON’T HOLD THE WATER? IT’S A FUCKING BUCKET HAT!” Jaemin yell could be heard even with the wall muffling it. 

Chenle laid his head onto Jisung’s shoulder and sighed, “This is getting out of hand.” 

“I’m sure you’ll figure something out, love, you always do,” Jisung places a kiss on his forehead and Chenle’s worry lines immediately disappear. 

“YOU’RE IQ IS JUST LIKE THE AIR IN THE HIMALAYAS!” Renjun’s sudden screeching broke the moment between the two. 

“And that is?” Jaemin could barely be heard, voice scarily thin. 

“IT’S THIN!” Jaemin stormed off and Renjun followed right after, slamming the door to the room. Chenle squeezed his eyes shut tightly as they bickered all the way down the hall and until they were no longer able to be heard. 

“Calm down,” Jisung pulled the smaller boy into a hug. “Stop worrying about them, it’s their own fault. You don’t owe them a thing...not that they want to fix their relationship anyway.” 

“I know, I know. It’s just I feel like I have to do something.”

“Why don’t you try talking to Jaemin?”

“You’re right,” Chenle pulled out his phone and pulled up Jaemin’s contact.

 

**legendary dolphin:** Hey, u free later today ^^

**legendary dolphin:**  I need to talk to u about smth

 

“Of course I am,” Jisung confidently smirked down at him. Chenle rolled his eyes and smacked him on the back of his head. 

“Move, your huge ego is getting in my way.” 

  
  


~

 

“Don’t you think you’re being irrational?” Chenle, as sensible as always, tried to reason with Jaemin. 

“He’s the one who used me for money!” Jaemin protested.

“You guys are ridiculous. All of this over a cup of coffee??” Chenle whispered to himself. “This is a hopeless case, Zhong. Why do you even try?”

“Please stop your quiet monologue for one second and let me rant.” 

“No, you shut the fuck up for once, bitchass, and listen to me,” Chenle suddenly raised his voice and slammed his fist on the table. Jaemin just repeatedly opened and closed his mouth like a fish out of water. “Sorry but this is the dumbest shit you have ever done and that list isn’t exactly short either. Get over yourself. It’s not like you don’t have enough money to get another shirt or a cup of coffee and it was an a-c-c-i-d-e-n-t. ACCIDENT. Noun, an unfortunate incident that happens unexpectedly and unintentionally, typically resulting in damage or injury.”

“That was so unnecessary,” Jaemin eagerly put his lips on the straw that was in his BangChan’s All Organics coffee because  _ finally coffee. _

“As unnecessary as Renjun and you fighting,” Chenle snatched the coffee away from him before he could even drink a drop. “You don’t deserve this.” 

Jaemin crossed his arm and pouted at him. “But Chenle, I-”

“Don’t even start. You know your aegyo hasn’t worked on me for years since that time you-”

“I will do whatever you ask but please do not ever mention that again. Those were dark times in my life,” Jaemin sat up straight like an obedient dog.

“Good,” Chenle pettily smiled at him, taking a large gulp of Jaemin’s coffee. “STOP BEING AN ASSHOLE!”

 

~

 

“I can’t believe the heat from the sun traveled 92,957,130.3587 miles just to melt my fucking chocolate bar,” Jaemin said, sitting down at his desk next to Renjun after dejectedly throwing away what was his king-sized KitKat. 

“I can’t believe you can’t memorize the first three digits of pi but you just coincidentally happen to know how far away the sun is,” Renjun shook his head in disbelief, looking up from his paper to see Jaemin. His breath caught in his throat. The sunlight that was seeping in through the window framed Jaemin just right. Renjun shook his head to dismiss the thought, _Don’t,_ _he’s a fucking asshole._

“To be fair, playing trivia to win free coffee for a month is a great motivator.” Jaemin attention was caught from movement behind Renjun. Chenle was enthusiastically giving him thumbs-up, and he resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

“Hey, where is Mr. Lee,” Renjun asked Jaehyun, who was a seat in front of him, when he realized the teacher’s absence. 

“Have you not heard? He wasn’t feeling well so he took the day off,” Jaehyun explained. Renjun’s mouth formed an ‘o’ in understanding. 

“We should probably check on him then,” Renjun decided, worried for his teacher. 

“I can’t, I have work after. Why don’t you ask Chenle?” 

Renjun went over to Chenle and repeated his suggestion to the younger boy.  

“I would but I have to get everything scheduled for the dance event at the end of the year,” Chenle offered him an apologetic look with his eyes.

“That’s okay, I’m fine with going on my own,” Renjun brushed it off but Chenle wasn’t having it.

“Jaemin, why don’t you go with Renjun to check on Mr. Lee?” 

“Oh, I really don’t think that’s necessary,” Renjun shot several pleading glances at Chenle, all of which were ignored as they were pushed off of campus by Chenle.  _ I’m fucking done. That’s it, this is where I end it.  _

Renjun gritted his teeth on the whole way to Taeyong’s house. The silence between the two was extremely awkward. 

Jaemin padded onto the porch and rang the doorbell before stepping back. Taeyong answered a few moments later with a small grin.

“Jaemin, Renjun. I didn’t expect you two to come, especially together. Come in, come in,” he gestured them and which they obliged. “What would you like to drink?”

“Oh, there’s no need, you need to rest-” Renjun politely declined but was cut off by Jaemin, whose eyes started to sparkle. 

“Do you have any coffee, please? It can just be black,” Jaemin asked almost desperately. Renjun elbowed him in the rib. “You know what, I just remembered I’m restricted from drinking anything because of my diet.” 

“Jaemin, that’s ridiculously unhealthy and I’m the one who is sick,” Taeyong raised an eyebrow at the boy’s sudden excuse. “I’ll go make some tea, you can sit down in there in the meantime.” He pointed to the next room with couches and a coffee table. He strolled off into the kitchen, presumably to make tea. 

Renjun gasped as he glanced around the room, quietly sitting on the couch with Jaemin. Jaemin looked up from his phone and sent Renjun a questioning glance. “What is it?”

Silence was followed save for Renjun’s light footsteps as he walked over to the bookshelf in the corner of the room and picked up a small photo frame that was sitting on the shelf. “Oh god,” Renjun choked out, shakily putting his hand over his mouth.  _ No, not now Renjun. Not where Jaemin can see.  _

Inside the frame was a photo almost identical to the one Renjun had on his desk at home of his parents’ graduation. But what was different about this one was Taeyong was in it too. 

“Renjun, are you alright?” Taeyong said, coming back with a tray with tea on it. He set it down on the table in front of Jaemin before going over to Renjun. “Do you know them?” 

“Yes, their my parents,” Renjun sadly replied, taking off his fake glasses. Taeyong’s eyebrows shot up. 

“What the fuck!” Jaemin gasped, which resulted in him choking on his tea (because  _ Holy fuck, Renjun looks beautiful).  _

“Language, Na Jaemin!” Taeyong said sternly.

“Please don’t tell anyone,” Renjun gave a begging look to both of them. “I can’t have people know my real identity right now.” 

“Why?” Taeyong grabbed the cup from Jaemin, who was trying to breathe, and sat it down on the table. 

“My grandfather forbade me from coming to Seoul, so he sent people to find me. I'm wearing these just in case they recognize me,” Renjun explained, nervously fiddling with his sleeves. Taeyong understandingly nodded while Jaemin continued to stare, his eyes looking soft for some reason. 

“So how are your parents doing?” 

“Mr. Lee, they passed away a long time ago,” Renjun’s eyes began to glass over and Jaemin snapped his neck by how quickly he turned his head to look at Renjun. “Actually, I came to this school to learn more about them.”

“No,” Taeyong gripped onto the couch, leaning on it for support. 

“Mr. Lee,” Renjun went to his side to comfort him. 

“It’s been almost ten years. I didn’t keep in touch with them. I should’ve. It’s just, we slowly lost contact over time. They were my best friends,” Taeyong choked out.

“Mr. Lee...Will you tell me about my dad? My grandfather gets mad when I mention him because he says it’s dad’s fault mom died.” 

They sat there for hours, tea gone cold, as Mr. Lee retold stories to Renjun about his parents while they were in college. Jaemin just awkwardly sat there and, though he wouldn’t admit it then, was watching Renjun with fond eyes. 

“Mr. Lee, I...well I…” Renjun struggled with his words, overcome with a sense of sadness.

“Yes, Renjun,” Taeyong listened intently. 

“Thank you so much for telling me all of this. I feel really at peace for the first time and I’m just so surprised by you.”

“What do you mean?” 

It’s just that I didn’t expect you to be so nice. No offense sir, but there are rumors....” Renjun trailed off, unsure of how Mr. Lee would react.

“It’s never good to listen to rumors because isn’t there one of you as well?” Mr. Lee glanced knowingly between the two and Renjun could feel his cheeks burning for a reason unknown to him. “Besides, I have duality kid.” 

“Well, thank you for the tea and I hope you feel better,” Renjun finished off as he stood up and tugged at Jaemin’s jacket, indicating that they were leaving. 

“So, those are fake?” Jaemin broke the silence, hands in his jacket pockets, as he walked next to Renjun. Renjun had put the glasses back on as they went back outside to ensure his secret was still hidden. He wasn’t ready just yet for everyone to know. If he was honest with himself, he wasn’t quite sure why he trusted Jaemin with it. They were practically at each other’s throats barely two days before. 

“Yeah, I thought it would be the easiest because I’m not completely changing myself but it still makes me less recognizable since I don’t need them,” Renjun elaborated. 

“So like Clark Kent?” Jaemin’s eyes started to sparkle and Renjun unwillingly melted at the boy’s dorky enthusiasm.  _ Stop it. What do you think you’re fucking doing?  _ Renjun didn’t know. 

“Do not even compare me to him. Superman is trash,” Renjun tried to annoy Jaemin, in an attempt to ignore what he was feeling. The universe didn’t like that too much and neither didn’t Jaemin. 

“Superman would save your ass right now even if he heard you make that comment. He’s a true hero, not a vigilante,” Jaemin protested, absentmindedly walking onto the crosswalk without looking away from Renjun. Renjun saw something coming toward them at an alarming rate, and he barely had time to process what was happening as he forcibly yanked Jaemin away from the street. Air whooshed past them as the car barrelled past them. They just speechlessly held onto each other, breathing shakily. 

“Are you okay?” Renjun whispered to Jaemin, who was breathing heavily as he stared blankly at the ground. His grip on Renjun’s arms was so tight, Renjun could feel himself losing circulation. “Jaemin, that hurts.”

Jaemin slowly brought his eyes up to look at Renjun, blinking in realization as if he just noticed Renjun. “I’m sorry,” he wrapped his arms around himself and cowered into himself. 

“Hey, no, don’t do that. It’s fine,” Renjun reassured the shaking boy. Even though he was taller, in that moment Jaemin seemed so small compared to Renjun. Renjun’s eyes crinkled in concern but he didn’t know what to say. He never did.  _ Dammit, what do I say? What is wrong with me?  _ Renjun mentally kicked himself for having dysfunctional emotions. 

So naturally, Renjun grabbed for Jaemin’s hand in a sudden movement and ended up punching Jaemin in the dick. 

“What the fuck,” Jaemin almost fell over, gasping in pain.

“Shit, do you need an ice pack?” Renjun weakly asked as he flailed his hands around, not knowing what to do.

“Please,” Jaemin said between his teeth, face scrunched in pain. 

“Here come on,” Renjun wrapped his arm around Jaemin and helped him sit onto a bench. “I’ll be right back.”

Jaemin stayed silent as Renjun ran off. He stared at the clouds, trying to keep his sanity because _ holy fuck, I’m sorry for women that give birth.  _

“This is all they had. I’m so sorry,” Renjun handed Jaemin a popsicle when he returned from the convenience store. He sat down on the bench next to Jaemin. 

“Don’t be, I probably deserve that for being a dick to you,” Jaemin painfully smiled at Renjun.  _ I think I’ve gone blind. Oh, mamma mia help me.  _

“I was no better. I just can’t believe we fought over coffee. A cup of coffee,” Renjun chuckled and Jaemin joined in as the looked sweetly at one another. As their laughter became silence, Jaemin rubbed his neck with his hand. Renjun’s attention was caught by a spot of blood puddling on Jaemin’s hand and pulled it into his to take a closer look.  _ His hands are so soft, _ Renjun mentally cursed at himself as he imagined them tugging at his hair and wrapped around his waist. 

“Oh, I didn’t even notice,” Jaemin cleared his throat as he absent-minded fiddling with the necklace he always seemed to be wearing, ears turning red. Renjun let go of Jaemin’s hand, and they both refuse to look at each other in the eye as they blushed furiously. “So, um, I guess you’re my superman,” Jaemin lightly laughed, succeeding in breaking the awkwardness. His eyes widened significantly as he realized something. “You even do the whole fake identity like him! Woah!” 

“No, just no.”  

  
  
  


~ 

 

“Hello?” Renjun nervously asked into his phone.  _ Why am I even doing this again?  _

“Renjun? Is that really you?” Taeil sounded genuinely concerned on the other side of the phone. Renjun was still his grandson after all. “I miss you, are you okay? Have you been eating?”

“Yes, grandfather. I’ve been eating well,” Renjun smiled into the phone, wiping away tears he had just realized were falling down his face. His heart ached as he yearned to be with his grandfather again. How could he not? The man had practically raised him and homeschooled him on all on his own. Renjun loved him all the same, even if they had a barrier between them. 

“I beg of you, Renjun, come home. I’m worried sick about you and I just want to see that you’re okay. I’ll do anything,” Taeil pleaded. Renjun thought his ears were misleading him, never in his life had he heard his grandfather beg to anyone. 

“Then please, tell me the truth,” Renjun choked on his tears. “Have you been lying to me about mom and dad?” In truth, Renjun didn’t know if he could handle the truth, even if it was the one in which he already knew. 

“Renjun, I...” Taeil hesitated. “I had to hide some things to protect you. It was for your own good.” 

“Who gave you the right? Why do you get to decide what is and isn’t good to me? YOU LIED TO ME MY WHOLE LIFE!” Renjun screamed into the phone as his tears flew everywhere. 

“Renjun, please lis-”

“Why would anyone do that?” Renjun spoke barely above a whisper, more to himself. He hung up before he could hear Taeil’s excuse by building only more lies into his spiral of deceit. Renjun didn’t care anymore, he was just exhausted.

 

**dont touch yoonoh’s bread:** [Image attached]

**dont touch yoonoh’s bread:** if youre not busy, i found this place near campus

 

**shoulder gangster:** woah those flowers are pretty

**shoulder gangster:** im not doing anything now 

 

**dont touch yoonoh’s bread:** [location attached]

 

**shoulder gangster:** thx on my way

 

“Want one?” Jaehyun offered him a wavy (*wayv) chip when he arrived. Renjun shook his head and sat down on the grassy field next to him. He pulled his knees near him and tucked them under his chin. He let a long sigh, finally able to relax after all the day’s events. Jaehyun looked at him for a moment before he shrugged, popped the chip into his mouth, and contently chewed.

“How was the chem test?” Renjun asked Jaehyun, knowing full well the junior was failing the subject and was contemplating early senioritis. 

“Don’t go there. He docked twenty points because I did the sig figs wrong even though the measurements were correct,” Jaehyun paused mid-chew to groan loudly. 

“Mr. Lee isn’t that bad,” Renjun thought back to the day before.

“What! You were calling him a witch just twelve hours ago,” Jaehyun comically whipped his head to look a Renjun and raised his eyebrows at him.

“How the fuck did you get accepted into college?”Renjun snorted. 

“Excuse me but you haven’t heard the power of these godly vocals.” 

Renjun was smiling at his roommate’s stupidity as he looked off when he felt something slip over his head and everything went black. He could hear Jaehyun scream next to him. “Jaehyun? Are you okay?” Renjun’s voice was uneven from fear. He struggled to fight with the mysterious person's grip on him.  _ What the fuck is happening? What is this?!?  _

“Renjun, wh-,” Jaehyun’s voice became muffled and it was the last thing Renjun could hear before he was knocked unconscious by a strong force. 

Renjun squinted as the bag was pulled off his head, the sun blinding him. A dull throb pulsed through his head from being knocked out earlier. When he saw a tall man staring at him, he tried to get up but was stopped by an over-the-shoulder harness enclosing him in to….. _ are we at an amusement park?  _

“Johnny? What the hell man?” Jaehyun’s whining at the tall boy interrupted his thoughts. 

“Sorry dude, boss’s orders,” Johnny had the nerve to look half-apologetic. Renjun gave him credit for at least attempting to look guilty. 

“You know him?” Renjun looked over to Jaehyun, who was sitting in the seat next to his.  _ Why does the guy want from us, I don’t even know him? _

“Yeah, he’s been at our college for like seven years because he can’t get his life together,” Jaehyun bluntly said as Johnny burned holes into his skull. “He’s apart of Doyoung’s cult, which is kinda sad if you think about it because he’s older than Doyoung,” Jaehyun tried and poorly failed to whisper over to Renjun.

“It’s not a cult!” Johnny protested, smacking Jaehyun on the head. 

“That’s exactly what a cult member would say,” Jaehyun tapped his temple like he said something thought-provoking. Renjun rolled his eyes,  _ is he on drugs or something?  _

“...You got me there dude,” Johnny replied in the same manner. 

“Hey, idiots!” Renjun rolled his eyes at them (this seems to be a reoccurring theme). “I hate to interrupt your bro bonding but why the fuck am I here?”

“Bossman isn’t too happy,” Johnny simply explained. 

“Right, could you build on that or…” Renjun gestured with his hands, indicating for Johnny to stop being vague. “We’ve never even talked to Doyoung before.” 

“Well, you see-” Johnny started to better explain but was cut off by a voice. Renjun jumped when he noticed him. Doyoung was leaning on the fence engating the ride, watching with a blank face. 

“Renjun, why are you so afraid? I just wanted to talk to you,” Doyoung opened the fence and walked over to them. “Johnny, why the hell are there two of them? Why is he here?” He gritted his teeth and glared his eyes at Johnny as he pointed his finger in question at Jaehyun. 

“He is Renjun’s roommate, right? It’s like a buy one, get one free deal. I took him in case you might need him too,” Johnny proudly grinned in obliviousness. 

Doyoung looked over at Jaehyun with a look in his eye that Renjun couldn’t identify before he turned around and hit Johnny between his words. “Buy one get one? Did I tell you to take him too, you brainless beanpole? This isn’t a fucking McDonald’s!

“I’m sorry,” Doyoung said to Jaehyun when he calmed down. “But I need to use you two so I can meet my old friend, Na Jaemin.” He tugged at his jacket before looking at his smartwatch to check the time. “Don’t worry it won’t be too long now. Just sit there quietly.” 

“What do you want with Jaemin? If you’re using us so that he’ll come and save us, then you need a better plan. He doesn’t care about us,” Renjun believed he was telling what he truly thought but his stomach dropped in anxiety.  _ But what if I’m wrong? No, no way. Stop dreaming Renjun. _

“We’ll see about that soon,” Doyoung pulled out his phone and typed something before putting it back into his jacket pocket. 

“He’s too busy being a spoiled brat to answer you,” Renjun spat, not sure who the insult was directed at as his heart felt a pinch of pain. 

“I’m in no rush at all and I doubt that-” Doyoung was cut off by his phone buzzing. He quickly scrambled to take it out, and he smirked when he looked to see.

 

**Incoming call…**

 

Doyoung wrinkled his nose in disgust when he realized who it was, but then obnoxiously smiled at Renjun. “You were saying?”

“Fuck, why do you always have to go against me Jaemin,” Renjun whispered, upset at himself that he felt a jolt of happiness when he was proven wrong. 

“Na Jaemin, I’ve heard that you are, let’s say, close with your table partner,” Doyoung picked up the phone, back facing Renjun and Jaehyun. Jaehyun shot him a worried glance and Renjun sent one back.  _ What is Jaemin saying? Fuck, I can’t hear him, he’s too far away.  _ “Yes, he’s right here with me. All alone and he doesn’t...,” Doyoung paused to send Renjun a wink. “Look that good.”

“JAEMIN! DON’T COME OR SO HELP ME I WILL-” The rest of Renjun’s words were muffled by Johnny’s hands. Renjun’s eyes were wide with desperation as he bit Johnny’s hand. Johnny winced in pain but didn’t budge. 

“That was him,” Doyoung chuckled. “I suggest you hurry to make sure he stays intact. It won’t be long now that I can still guarantee his safety. How about you come to the amusement park, you know the one, so we can have a talk,” He took the phone off his ear and hung up on Jaemin. He raised his hands in fake confusion at Renjun. “Didn’t you say he wouldn’t come for you? You shouldn’t lie to your elders.” 

“Ya! Doyoung! What do you want from Jaemin!” Renjun shouted, childishly kicking his feet since he couldn’t move.

“And now we wait,” Doyoung ignored Renjun and walked off, not looking back. “Come on, Johnny! You’re such a dumbass sometimes.” Johnny power walked over to him, tripping in the process. Doyoung sighed before yanking him up. 

“You know if I wasn’t completely terrified for Jaemin right now, I would love this moment,” Jaehyun giggled at his clumsy friend and Renjun gave him an odd side glance.

“God, I want a new roommate,” Renjun looked around helplessly for what felt like hours. “What should we do? We have to do something.” He hopelessly pushed on the harness with no success. Next to him, Jaehyun jumped off the seat and Renjun’s mouth dropped. “How did you get out?”

“Magic,” Jaehyun wiggled his fingers in the air and Renjun’s face went from amazement to disappointment. “Do you think Johnny’s actually that smart? He buckled the harness but didn’t push it down to lock it in place.” Jaehyun unbuckled the harness and pushed it up for him. 

“Oh,” Renjun jumped off the seat, feet finally touching the ground as he stretched his back. “We should go find them before it’s too late.”

  
  


~

  
  


_ As soon as I see your motherfucking face, I swear to god Doyoung, no one will ever recognize you,  _ Jaemin tightened his grip on the steering wheel as the other hand nervously played with his musical note necklace that Jeongin had given him when they were little. The car was silent save for the occasional shuffling and Jaemin’s inner thoughts. 

“Stop thinking so hard, I can feel you thinking,” Chenle drummed his fingers on his thigh. “Renjun will be fine. Doyoung would never actually hurt someone that’s innocent.”

“I’m not so sure about that anymore,” Jaemin voice broke sadly. “Not after what I did to him.”

“Stop that,” Chenle swatted him. “Stop it, it was an accident. You need to stop blaming yourself for it.” 

“Then why do I feel guilty all the time?” Renjun tried to keep his voice even but it shook even worse. “Every breath I take, I wonder why I deserve to still be alive.” Chenle stayed silent, unsure for once on how to comfort his best friend.  _ Not that I deserve for him to comfort me. It was my fault. I wish I could just go- _

“It’s too quiet in here, we need some music,” Chenle hit the power button for the radio before Jaemin could disagree. Love Scenario quietly floated through the car, increasing in volume as Chenle turned the dial.

“No, turn it off Chenle,” Jaemin really wasn’t in the mood but Chenle just turned it up even louder. 

“LO-O-OVE SCE-NAR-IO!” Chenle waved his arms back and forth, accidentally smacking himself in the face, and Jaemin couldn’t help but laugh before joining in and passionately rapping. 

“Renjun always listens to this while we’re studying,” Jaemin frowned in remembrance as the song came to an end. (This scene wasn’t originally planned but I was listening to it because stan ikon and bambam inspiration struck.) 

“It’s going to be fine,” Chenle clapped his hand on Jaemin’s shoulder. “Look, there it is.”

Chenle pointed to the sign that read: Dream World ~  for the young at heart. Jaemin’s heart leaped in stressed as he sped into the parking lot. He messily parked the car out of the lines before jumping out of the car, not even bothering to turn it off. “Jaemin, wait up!” Chenle screamed for him as Jaemin started sprinting.  _ What if... no, he will be okay. He has to.  _

As he got closer, he saw Doyoung sitting at the carousel. Fueled by anger, he felt his feet pick up a faster pace. He became tunnel-visioned on Doyoung, who was sitting there causally with a blank, unbothered face.  _ I really want to pound that face into the ground. _

“Ya! Doyoung! Where’s Renjun?” Jaemin spat at the older as he jumped over the locked gate to get to the other. 

“Why are you so angry?” Doyoung stood up and walked over to Jaemin, leaving barely any room between them. “Are you worried for your boyfriend?” 

“You’re wrong, Renjun isn’t my boyfriend,” Jaemin clenched his fist but also lightly blushed nonetheless.  _ Talk about terrible timing.  _ “Let him go, he has nothing to do with this.”

“Please Doyoung, listen to him. Renjun’s innocent,” Chenle arrived, hands on his knees as he caught his breath. 

“Innocent?” Doyoung didn’t turn from Jaemin, staring into his soul as if he was judging if he was worthy of living. “Jeongin was innocent too. But you didn’t seem to mind then.” Jaemin looked down at his feet in sudden shame.  _ He’s right. _

“Kim Doyoung! It wasn’t his fault, you piece of shit!” Chenle raised his voice in sudden frustration. He was tired of the blame being thrown around when it was nobody’s fault. 

“Shut up, Zhong Chenle!” Doyoung’s voice deepened, full of emotion from his loss. “You out of all people shouldn’t support those who have done bad. Are you really that used to being someone’s dog?” Doyoung threw the insult at Chenle, who feigned small hurt. 

“I admit that it’s my fault,” Jaemin looked up from the ground, eyes full of pain and sorrow. “But don’t you fucking dare drag others into my mess to be your pawns.” 

“You admit it yet you still think you’re all high and mighty. I might have been okay with your existence if you were a beggar but an idol?” Doyoung scoffed. “What makes you think you deserve to be an idol after what you did? As long as I’m alive, you will pay for your sins.” 

“What do you want him to do?” Chenle, as sensible as always, decided to get to the point to stop Doyoung for completely destroying Jaemin’s already weak will. 

“Don’t ever sing again,” Doyoung growled and poked at Jaemin’s chest. 

“Jeongin’s disappearance was my fault, I admit. But let me make this clear for you, I will never owe you a thing!” Jaemin started to shove Doyoung in anger but Chenle held him back. “And Renjun definitely hasn’t done anything to you.” 

Doyoung grabbed him by the collar and just stared at Jaemin with a vicious storm in his eyes. Several moments passed, no one even slightly twitching a muscle, until Doyoung sourly spat on Jaemin’s face “You don’t deserve to keep mentioning Renjun like that. You don’t deserve to live like nothing has happened.” 

“Stop it! Both of you! What is the point in hurting yourselves?” Chenle shoved himself in between them as a barrier. “None of us will ever be able to live normally after it again, Doyoung. How could we? He was one of our closest childhood friends?”

“BUT HE WAS MY BROTHER! MY LITTLE BROTHER THAT I WAS SUPPOSED TO PROTECT! MY BROTHER THAT WAS TAKEN AWAY BECAUSE OF JAEMIN!” Doyoung’s voice became hoarse out as he yelled in pure grief, neck veins popping out. He slowed down, catching his uneven breaths. “How can I let him go when he is the reason my brother is gone? It’s Jeongin.” He aggressively pointed toward Jaemin several times, eyes wide. If the situation wasn’t so serious, Jaemin would’ve laughed at how much Doyoung looked like a wild rabbit. 

“It was just an accident,” Chenle tried to reason with him again but it was like talking to a brick wall, pointless and unmoving.

“Just the hell up for once!” Doyoung finally lost his thinning patience, kicking Chenle into the carousel.  _ What has he become? This isn’t the Doyoung I once knew, _ Jaemin wondered in slight sadness before throwing a punch at Doyoung’s face as protection. Doyoung simply dodged it before grabbing the same arm and repeatedly punching Jaemin in the stomach.  _ This would've been a great time to recall that Doyoung is a boxer, hello long-term memory.  _

“Let go of him!” Chenle jumped onto Doyoung’s back, stopping him from being able to continue punching Jaemin. Doyoung threw him onto the ground and off his back with little strain and a lot of force. Chenle groaned as pain shot up his back. Johnny, who had just come from the bathroom, held Chenle down as Jaemin and Doyoung continue to beat one another up. 

“Johnny, remind me to fire you when this is all over,” Doyoung grumbled as he wiped the blood from the corner of his mouth. 

“Okay sir, I w-” Johnny started to say dejectedly before he was interrupted by quick-pounding footsteps that were nearing. Everyone paused in their place when they saw it was Renjun and Jaehyun. “Johnny, you’re fucking fired.”

“That’s fair.” 

“Stop it, Doyoung! You are nothing but a bully,” Renjun yelled from where he was now standing on the carousel while Jaehyun looked at Doyoung in disappointment for reasons unknown to Jaemin. Jaemin looked over them and saw no injuries.  _ Renjun’s okay _ , Jaemin sighed in relief. 

“We’re leaving,” Jaemin sternly said to Doyoung, indicating for the other three to follow him back to the car. They don’t get far when Renjun walked down the carousel’s steps, he tripped falling down them and yelping from the pain shooting up his ankle.

“Renjun!” The three of them rush over to him to help. 

“Jaemin,” Doyoung stopped them in their tracks. “I’m warning you, what happened today will happen again if you don’t stop singing, disrespecting Jeongin” Doyoung stalked off, yanking Johnny with him. He suddenly paused and turned over his shoulder for a split second to look at Jaehyun before turning back. 

“I don’t doubt it,” Jaemin said to his back. “You two go ahead to the car I got this.”

“Are you sure-” Chenle hesitated to leave them alone near Doyoung, especially now that Renjun was injured. 

“Go start the car,” Jaemin didn’t leave any room for argument as he sat down by Renjun, who was gripping his ankle. Chenle nodded his head in understanding and walked to the car with Jaehyun trailing behind him. 

“Are you okay?” Jaemin worriedly cupped Renjun’s face in his hand and Renjun flushed from the contact. 

“I’m sure it’s nothing, help me up,” Jaemin offered him his hand and Renjun placed his in Jaemin’s grip.  _ His hands are so cute and soft,  _ Jaemin almost melted as he noticed the smaller boy’s hand. As soon as Renjun placed weight on the injured ankle, he yelped in pain and fell back over. 

“Renjun!” Jaemin examined the ankle. It was throbbing, extremely swollen. “You’re in no shape to walk.”

“No, it’s fine. Let’s just try again,” Renjun insisted, trying to get up again but was stopped by Jaemin pushing him back down.

“Get on my back,” Jaemin knelt down, offering him a piggyback ride.

“What? No, that’s-”

“Just get on my damn back already. We’ll get to the car faster this way anyway,” Jaemin glanced back to give him a knowing look. Renjun gently crawled on, afraid to place his weight onto Jaemin. “Oh my god. You’re so tiny!” Jaemin positioned him comfortably before running around. 

“Jaemin, stop!” Renjun tightened his arms around Jaemin. Jaemin was radiating warmth and Renjun could have fallen asleep right then if not for all the bouncing. 

“Sorry,” Jaemin slowed his paced and walked toward the direction of the parking lot. Silence filled the air around them but there was something comfortable about it. Peaceful almost since they hadn’t had silence in a long time. Jaemin’s steps became slower as his breath started to hitch. 

“Are you getting tired?” Renjun tried to shift his weight off but Jaemin held his thighs in place.

“No,” Jaemin stubbornly continued to stumble rather than walked. His calves were on fire but something inside him pressed him to keep going as if he needed to prove that his worth to himself. 

“Well, I need to stop. My leg needs to be stretched out because it’s starting to cramp,” Renjun lied. 

“Already?” Jaemin didn’t seem convinced but sat him down on the bench a few feet away anyway, more than likely exhaustion taking its toll. 

“You surprised me when you came today,” Renjun admitted as he watched the sun start to set. “I thought...I thought Doyoung was going to do something.” Renjun’s voice threatened to crack, hinting at his inner fear.

“Don’t worry about him. I’ll murder him if he hurts you,” Jaemin replied in a heartbeat, he had never been this sure in a long time.  _ And to think that just a few weeks ago, I wouldn’t have given any shits about Renjun. _

“I’ve seen you trying to use nunchucks, Jaemin. I’m a black belt, I can do it myself.”

“How do you know about that,” Jaemin asked in sudden horror, whipping his neck around to look at Renjun, who trying hard not to laugh at the memory. 

“Chenle showed the video to me. I loved the part where you-”

“LALALA LALALA,” Jaemin covered his ears and screamed. Renjun rolled his eyes but couldn’t fight the smile that formed on his face.  _ So cute.  _ Jaemin looked in awe at Renjun as his eyes began to melt into golden eclipses as the sunset reflected on them. 

“You look good in that sweater,” Jaemin’s heart swelled when he noticed the oversized sweater that Renjun was wearing. And the sweater paws were  _ absolutely adorable.  _

“W-what?” Renjun nervously chuckled. 

“Nothing,” Jaemin simply reply, all of his momentary confidence lost. 

“It wasn’t nothing,” Renjun poked him on the shoulder, curiosity eating at him. 

“Oh,” was Renjun’s intelligent response as his face began to betray him by heating up.  _ Fuck you too, traitor.  _ (Yes, he’s talking to his face. Don’t judge. People get desperate when they’re sad and forever alone.) 

“Come on,” Jaemin squatted in front of Renjun for him to get back on his back. “Chenle and Jaehyun are probably wondering what’s taking so long.” 

“Who is Jeongin?” Renjun suddenly remembered and Jaemin halted in his steps. 

“Doyoung’s little brother,” Jaemin sighed, continuing walking.

“What happened to him?” Renjun didn’t want to press Jaemin but couldn’t help the curiosity eating away at him.

It was silent for several passing seconds before Jaemin let out a long breath, “I fucked up really badly, Renjun, right in this same spot.” He looked over at an aged bench, that seemed to send off sad waves of nostalgia. 

 

( *author wiggles arms as we go into the past*

“Just keep an eye on him for me and get a seat while I get the pretzels. I’ll be right back,” Doyoung placed his hand on Jaemin’s shoulder. Jaemin nodded in understanding. 

“Okay!” Jaemin took a timid Jeongin’s hand and ran to go find a place.

“Be careful!” Doyoung yelled at them but they were already lost in the sea of the crowd. 

“Come on, Jeongin!” Jaemin laughed, pulling Jeongin along as he forced his way through the pool of people. Jaemin, not paying attention to where he was going, tripped on a middle-aged women's feet and Jeongin's hand was separated from his.

“Jeongin? JEONGIN?” Jaemin spun around where he was standing, heart beating faster. “JEONGIN!!” Tears threatened to fall down his face as he looked around hopelessly, bystanders not giving the screaming child a second look. 

Jaemin sat down on an empty bench surrounded by laughing families as his tears finally split out, crying as he waited for Doyoung’s inevitable wrath.) 

  
  


~

  
  


A crowd stood around the booth, pushing toward the front as Chenle calmly asked for them to back up. Renjun’s interest peaked.  _ I wonder what they’re doing.  _ He pushed (more like stumbled due to his brace still being on)  his way through the crowd earning an occasionally yell and Jeno glaring at him. Ignoring them, he took a pink flyer off the booth, “What’s this, Chenle?” 

“It’s for the school’s beauty contest. The student council hosts it every year,” he lightly snatched the flyer from Renjun. “I don’t think you’d be interested.” 

“Why not?” Renjun grabbed it back and stuffed it into his backpack. “I’m a fucking delight.” Jeno, who was listening into the conversation, snorted in amusement.

“Are you blind? You are an ugly prune, and it’s not like you’ll have any chance against Donghyuck anyway,” Jeno crossed his arms, giving an eye smile. 

“I don’t have to look nice to be beautiful. Beauty is from the inside,” Renjun said simply. “And not that it matters but I’m fucking eye candy.” Chenle choked beside him and Jeno raised his eyebrow in disbelieve. 

“In that case, I’m looking forward to your humiliation,” Jeno paused for a second as if his brain was malfunctioning from trying to think. Renjun repressed a snort. “Not that you aren’t already doing a good job at that already.” 

“Asshat,” Renjun whispered under his breath as Jeno went to, presumably, meet Donghyuck. 

“You better win,” Chenle leaned on the booth, eyes looking sad. “I’m done with those two.”

“Are they giving you a hard time about Jisung?” Renjun asked worriedly. Ever since Chenle had started dating Jisung, Chenle constantly looked worn down as Donghyuck and Jeno would pluck him like vultures as soon as Jisung would leave him for even a few seconds. “You need to tell Jisung.”

“I can’t, Renjun. It’s not that simple.”

“But it is! Just-” Renjun started but Chenle quickly cut him off. 

“Just drop it,” Chenle stood up from where he was leaning and shakily scratched at his hands. Renjun frowned when he noticed. “What about you, how’s your ankle?”

“It should be off in a few days, right before the contest,” Renjun decided to let go, Chenle obviously not comfortable in talking about it yet. Not that he ever would be. 

“That’s good.” 

“What’s good?” Jaemin appeared behind Renjun, causing him to jump out of his skin in fright. “Sorry,” Jaemin gripped Renjun’s to keep him balanced. 

“Renjun’s brace will be off in time for the beauty contest,” Chenle replied for Renjun, who was too busy staring at Jaemin. The younger boy was wearing an oversized, orange hoodie that was making Renjun question his entire existence. Renjun felt a tug in his heart as he looked at Jaemin’s soft lips, wanting to nothing more than to kiss them.  _ Jesus fuck, I’m screwed _ , Renjun mind wandered off as he realized what he was feeling toward Jaemin.  _ I’m in love with Jaemin, this is not fucking happening.  _

“Renjun?” Jaemin shook Renjun, pulling him from his thoughts. “Hello?” 

“Sorry, I was just thinking,” Renjun said meekly, avoiding Jaemin’s gaze.

“Obviously,” Jaemin chuckled. “Don’t hurt yourself.” 

“Oh, fuck me,” Renjun blurted out as he blushed hearing Jaemin’s deep chuckle. Renjun blushed even harder as he realized what he said.  _ What the hell am I doing???  _ Renjun mentally kicked himself. Jaemin smirked down at him, trying hard not to laugh at the tiny boy’s embarrassment. “That wasn’t an invitation, Na Jaemin. And stop smirking!” 

“Could you guys stop mind-fucking? I have a contest to run,” Chenle pushed them away from the booth as the other two protested that they weren’t even together. 

“Look at that bitter old man, he looks so young but he can’t age. The Great Depression took such a toll on him.” 

“You’re going to be a bitter old man if you keep drinking that,” Renjun took the coffee, that Jaemin had gotten before he saw the booth, from him and sipped on it. “Wait, isn’t he younger than both of us?”

“Don’t question my logic,” Jaemin crossed his arms, brooding over his stolen coffee that was absent from his hand.

  
  


~.

  
  


“I need you to follow me to my office. There’s someone that needs to talk to you,” Taeyong summoned Renjun. 

“Who is it?” Renjun, who was sitting on a window sill in the hallway,  looked up from the sheet he was focused on.

“Just...you’ll see,” Taeyong looked around almost nervously as he lead him over to his office before opening the door. “Have a good chat.” The door was shut closed. 

“Grandfather, hi….” Renjun awkwardly smiled at Taeil as he waddled over to him. He fiddled with his shirt when he noticed the anger written all over his face. “Why are you here?” 

“Renjun,” Taeil said his name extremely calm before he broke out into a shout, pointing at Renjun’s face. “What happened to your face?!? What have you turned into to? You have to come home with me!” 

“I don’t want to go home with you,” Renjun was nervous but was able to keep his voice from shaking. 

“Look at yourself! You could be living a comfortable as a rich heir but you decided to stoop so low.” 

“What do you mean low?” Renjun was blinded by sudden frustration that had been bottling up. “I have never worked so hard in my life for something I want, and you know what? I’ve never been as happy in my life than I am right now as I stoop low.” 

“You look like an ordinary boy,” Taeil continued, gestured at Renjun’s fake glasses. “You’re never going to make it far in life like this!” 

“Since you think that, I’m going to prove you wrong,” Renjun blurted out, his tongue uncontrolled. He stopped speaking as realized what he said.

“And how are you going to do that?” Taeil prompted. 

Renjun mind flashed back to the pink flyer crumbled in his backpack. “I’m going to use my current image to win the beauty contest the school is holding. If I win, I will get to stay here and continue studying psychology. If I fail to win first place, I will listen to your wish and go back to Jilin with you.” 

Taeil gave a humored scoff. “Okay, I accept your conditions. I suggest you start packing now.” 

 

~

 

**mochisung:** goodd luck ^^

 

**president chenle:** Hwaiting!

 

**don’t touch yoonoh’s bread:** im excited to see you in the suit! I know you can do it lets get this bread!

 

**sodium jaemide:** youre gonna kill it youre doing amazing sweetie

 

**seo culture technology:** um good luck ig (How Johnny got his number and why he texted him was extremely questionable)

 

**Grandfather:** I hope you don’t forget your promise.

  
  


Renjun’s mind was a spiral of overthinking, the messages of inspiration not helping him. He chewed at his lip as he realized what would happen if he lost.  _ I can’t leave now. Stop overthinking Renjun, you’re going to wear your knees out from jumping to so many conclusions.  _

He stared into his own reflection, so caught up in his own thoughts that he didn’t realize the three others entering the room. They sat down at the mirror behind him. 

“Hey, Renjun,” Jisung pulled him from his worry. Renjun gave him a weak smile, not trusting himself to speak. 

“You’re actually here?” Jeno scoffed, alluding at their earlier conversation. “I’m surprised you’re that shameless.”

“Have you ever heard of true beauty that comes from within? God, you’re so shallow.” 

“That’s bullshit, beauty is beauty.”  

“You never know, ugly ducklings can turn out to be beautiful swans,” Donghyuck looked smugly at Renjun through the mirror as he applied his foundation. “Never stop someone who overestimates themselves or you might end up missing a touching and inspirational story. But did you know that the reason ugly ducklings can turn into swans is that they were swans, to begin with.”  _ How can one be so fucking annoying?  _ Donghyuck sent a knowing look to Jeno, who looked at him as if he was indebted to Donghyuck. 

“That was really thought-provoking. You know, if I wanted a new brain, I’d choose yours,” Renjun offered seemingly sweet to Donghyuck, but he wore the faintest guileful smile.

“Really?” Donghyuck spun his head around from looking at his own reflection, in shock. “Well, I’m not surprised, you’re a fucking idiot. I am pretty-”

“Because it’s never been used,” Renjun finished. Donghyuck gaped like a fish as Renjun walked, getting ready to go on stage. 

“Hyung, If you’re going to keep being two-faced like that, at least make one of them pretty,” Jisung snorted and Jeno slapped him on the chest.

“Jisung, I will call mom and tell her about Chenle,” Donghyuck threatened, quickly shutting Jisung up. “I don’t even know why you would want to be with someone that will ruin you within this family.” 

“Leave him out of it,” Jisung said darkly. “Just because our family is falling apart, doesn’t mean he should too. And don’t think I’m not aware of how you’ve been treating him since we’ve started dating.” 

“Hmph, then I suggest you be a more obedient brother,” Donghyuck chided before getting up to go in the same direction as Renjun. Jisung slumped as soon as Donghyuck left and sighed into his hands. It was hard to have any freedom when your family was constantly being watched by the media, like snakes hiding in the grass ready to strike if you make one wrong move. 

“I love you, Jisung,” Jeno started in pity, just looking at Jisung rather than comforting him. “But you should listen to Donghyuck sometimes. You are not very fair to him. I’m going to go find a seat now.” He walked off too. Jisung clenched and unclenched his fists. He was tired of everyone around him treating each other poorly. Jisung calmed himself down, reminding himself that it was Renjun’s night. 

To say Renjun was nervous was an understatement. He shifted his weight from side to side where he stood. It felt like thousands of holes were being burned into his skin, judging everything about him, as the audience and judges watched the contestants neatly file onto the stage. Renjun had never been self-conscious but there was something about the judge’s (save Chenle) cold eyes that bothered him deeply. 

“Okay, thank you, Lee Donghyuck,” an older woman judge thanked Donghyuck as she shuffled to the next page on her clipboard. Renjun was so wrapped in his worrying, he hadn’t even realized they had started. “Huang Renjun, come forward please.” 

Renjun waddled awkwardly to the mic stand and grabbed for the microphone, knocking it accidentally. He winced as a loud thump screeched throughout the theater. He felt himself internally crumbling into a small ball of embarrassment and shame. 

“Renjun, the judges will begin to ask you a variety of questions. Are you ready?” The same judge made sure Renjun was aware of how it would take place and Renjun nodded. 

“I have a question for you,” a member of the student council, Seokjin, stood up from his chair at the judges’ table. “As you know, this is a beauty contest. All the contestants around you look the part, but when it comes to your appearance...” Seokjin stifled a laugh into his fist. “Well, there’s nothing special about it. Why are you on this stage? Don’t you think it’s an insult to the other contestants?” Renjun’s heart sunk in defeat. Everyone shuffled, looking at each other, as many different types of cries resonated from the crowd. 

“Please mind your words,” Chenle stood up as well, looking over at Seokjin. “Renjun, you don’t have to answer this question.” 

Renjun spotted Jaemin in the crowd(“RENJUN! WOOOO!” Jaemin yelled enthusiastically as he gave him thumbs up. He was shushed by Jaehyun, who was sitting next to him.) and he felt a sudden burst of confidence back in his chest. He took a shaky breath before he started to answer. “It’s all right. Before I answer that question, I’d like to ask the judges. What is your definition of beauty? Based on your understanding, what defines beauty? I am aware we have a dominant standard of beauty in our society. A mainstream standard that categorizes us based on how we are born! Our height, our psychical features, our age, etc etc. is what they say defines us and then they tell us that’s all we are. We too have adopted this same standard to define what beauty is to us. But in no written literature has it ever declared beauty as only skin deep. Beauty lies in the eye of the beholder. That should define beauty. Everything that touches your heart should be defined as beauty. If someone doesn’t fall into the mainstream standard of beauty, are they not beautiful at all? Are they not worthy of love? Who set those rules? Who has the right to judge that? And that’s all for me. Thank you,” Claps echoed through the theater as Renjun trailed off. He smiled over at Jaemin and Jaehyun, who were jumping up and down together as they shouted Renjun’s name. 

Taeil couldn’t help but proudly smile at his grandson on stage. “Sir, the votes have been changed as you instructed,” one of the elder judges went to where Taeil was sitting.

“Okay,” Taeil looked down and sighed.  _ This was for his own good.  _

“And the winner…” the announcer drum rolled and Renjun clenched his suit. “Lee Donghyuck!” Donghyuck walked forward, smiling brightly, and sent Renjun an obscene hand gesture behind his back. As the crown was Donghyuck’s head, people started to clear the theater. Renjun just stood there, in shock that he hadn’t won.  _ I really thought I did well… _

His anxious thoughts were halted, suddenly unimportant, as he heard footsteps near and a hand tugging the hair falling in his face, calming him down.  _ Jaemin.  _

“You looked beautiful today. You won in my heart.”

“That was bad even for you,” Renjun softly replied, not being able to stop himself from blushing. 

“But it worked,” Jaemin gave Renjun a whisper of a kiss on his cheek before walking off the stage to talk to Chenle. Renjun slowly brought his hand to his cheek and could feel himself heat up even more. _ Dammit, Look at what he’s doing to you. You’re pathetically hopeless.  _ Renjun dreamed about how soft Jaemin’s lips felt on his cheek up until he fell asleep that night. A smile never slipped from his face, even if there was the looming threat of having to leave the next day. 

 

~

 

As Renjun was dejectedly packing his suitcase that morning, he received a thread of notifications. 

 

**Grandfather:** Congratulations on your performance. It was splendid.

**Grandfather:** If your goal was to win, you’ve succeeded. 

**Grandfather:** I will keep my promise. You may continue studying there. But don’t expose your identity, or you will have to return home immediately. Remember that your best interests are always in my heart. 

 

Renjun ran around the room, shouting at the top of his lungs. Jaehyun pulled his pillow on top of his head and groaned. 

“Jaehyun! Get up!” Renjun yelled, jumping onto the former’s bed. Jaehyun stayed silence for a second before he bounced up and joined Renjun in jumping. Accidentally projecting his pillow across the room and breaking Renjun’s cute Moomin lamp in the process. But Renjun couldn’t have cared more at that moment because  _ I get to stay!  _

“Why are we jumping?” Jaehyun finally asked out of breath, jumping off his bed.

“Because you still stuck with me! I don’t have to go home!”

“Wait, you had to go home?”

“Shit, I knew I was forgetting to do something…” Jaehyun slapped him on the arm before pulling him into a bear hug. 

 

~

  
  


The classroom buzzed in excitement as whispers went around. There was supposedly a transfer student coming that day.

“I wonder if they’re handsome?”

“I wonder if they’re a foreigner, that would be cool!”

“I hope it’s another Aussie…”

“What are you talking about? Nobody will ever be as pretty as me!” That was obviously Donghyuck. 

“Quiet down class! Quiet!” Kun stood in the front of his class, watching them in annoyance. “I SAID SHUT THE HELL UP!” They went silent. “Thank you...so as you obviously know, we have a new student. I hope you treat him well. You can come in now,” Kun spoke to the door of the classroom. 

In walked a boy with sharp cheekbones and dimples. He seemed to be around Chenle’s age. He stood next to Kun and bowed. “Thank you, please take good care of me.” 

 

And at that moment, chaos unfolded out. 

 

“Is this a joke?” Jaemin suddenly stood up, face as pale as a sheet of paper and ran out of the room.

“Jaemin! Wait!” Chenle followed right behind him.  _ Huh, weird...What just happened?  _ Renjun looked back at the door concerned before facing the front again. He saw Doyoung clenching and unclenching his fist as he stood, chair fallen on the ground. It looked like tears were threatening to spill out of his eyes.  _ Must just be the sunlight playing a trick on my eyes.  _

“Jeongin?” Doyoung could barely be heard and suddenly everything clicked.  _ Oh shit.  _

Jeongin’s eyes widened as he found the voice that fit its owner. “Doyoung, hi…” 

“I’m sorry but the fuck is going on,” Kun interrupted.

“Jeongin was...he is my little brother,” Doyoung replied, extremely perturbed.  

“Quite the family reunion,” Jeongin joked before he was tackled by Doyoung. 

“Ugh, can we leave if we’re not going to learn?” A voice yawned in the back. 

“Like you ever pay attention anyways, Donghyuck,” Kun gave him his if-you-don’t-stop-talking look. “But yes, that’s all I have for today. Have a good weekend.” 

It was like a switch had suddenly been changed. Doyoung was a completely different person than a few weeks before. He had become mellow,  _ he laughed.  _ Everybody was confused but decided to keep quiet as it was better than him bullying them. 

 

(The group were walking back to the university, from getting ice cream as they bombarded Jeongin with questions on where he had been. 

“This lovely family took me in and…” Jeongin enthusiastically spoke of his family. As the temperature went down due to the absence of the sun, Doyoung placed his jacket around Jaehyun’s shoulders.

”You’re going to catch a cold,” he said to Jaehyun simply. The pair contently fell behind the group, hands brushing one another’s. Comfortable silence exchanged between them.)

 

And then there was Jeongin. There was something about him that attracted Renjun and Jaehyun to want to be friends with him. He was just easy to talk to. (And it didn’t help that Chenle always stuck by him too. Already having known him.) 

In other words, everyone adored Jeongin. 

 

Except for one person. 

 

Jaemin refused to even look at Jeongin. Opting to play with his sleeves and looking down at his shoes anytime Jeongin was nearby. Making excuses as to why he couldn't hang out with him. He just felt sick to the stomach, unable to forget what he had done many years back.  _ I guess Doyoung finally got what he wanted,  _ he bitterly thought.

It was Jeongin himself that had finally put the silence to an end. 

“What now, Chenle? I already told you I’m not-” Jaemin stopped when he saw who had knocked on the door. Immediately his eyes went down to their shoes. “Jeongin.” 

“Don’t Jeongin me,” Jeongin walked into the other boy’s dorm, turning on the light so it wasn't dark anymore. “You’ve been ignoring me.” 

Jaemin opened his mouth to protest but was cut off by Jeongin continuing. 

“And cut the crap, you know I don’t blame you for what happened,” Jeongin sat down onto the couch and Jaemin sat as far away as possible as if Jeongin would disappear and just be a hallucination if he was even near the younger boy. His stomach suddenly growled loudly because Jaemin had been poorly eating for the previous few weeks since Jeongin’s arrival. “Come on, go treat me to something. We need to catch up on a few things.” 

Jaemin watched Jeongin in disbelief as he slurped down his third bowl of pho. Jeongin burped as he patted his stomach contently. “So what’s up with you? Anybody I should know about?” Jeongin wiggled his eyebrows. 

“Actually there might be someone,” Jaemin started.

“Oh,” Jeongin’s eyes widened and he leaned forward. “Spill sis.” 

“It’s just a bitchy friend of mine that I used to absolutely hate actually if you would believe that. But I've realized I can be myself around them.”

“They sound more than a friend to me,” Jeongin wiggled his eyebrows at Jaemin. 

“You’re right they’re more than that. They’re my best friend!” Jaemin obliviously shouted. 

“You idiot,” Jeongin facepalmed. 

“What?”

“You obviously are in love with them. I mean, look at you! They’re all you want to talk about.”

“Oh.” Jaemin’s eyes shook in realization. “Oh. My. God.” Jaemin started to tilt over in his chair.

“Uh, Jaemin?” Jeongin asked with slight concern. “You good man?” 

“Oh,” was all he said as he allowed himself to fall onto the floor. 

“Get the hell up, lovebird. You’re just as dramatic as I remember,” Jeongin yanked him off the floor and shoved him back onto his seat. 

“I love him!?!” Jaemin voice echoed through the restaurant as reality struck him all at once. He looked around the room wildly with wide eyes.  _ Oh, fuck me.  _

“Um, so who is it again?” 

Things between Doyoung and Jaemin were as awkward as ever even after Jeongin and Jaemin talked. They neither knew how to approach the elephant in the room with a decade of emotions trailing behind them, reminding them things were, in fact, not okay. It really didn’t help that Kun temporarily paired for them to be studying in the library together because both are their partners were preoccupied. Renjun, having to fit in dance practice along with studying for finals, and Jaehyun, working his ass off at odd jobs to get money. 

They both were hunched over different work, Doyoung having already finished the math and was working on English. There was a thick silence between them, both too afraid of breaking it opting to continue struggling on their worst subjects alone. It went on for hours and they still weren’t making progress, Wonwoo, the librarian’s assistant, had even gone home for the night. 

“Okay, obviously we are both struggling and need help. What are we doing? Everything between us is solved now. How about I will teach you math like Einstein and you can teach me English,” Doyoung suggested, cutting the silence between them. 

“Wasn’t Einstein an inventor?” Jaemin scratched his head, accidentally stabbing myself with his pen in the process. “Fucking hell!”

“Was he? I thought Thomas Edison was an inventor?” Doyoung too busy thinking to ask if he was alright. 

They started snapping their fingers and point at each other in an exciting realization. “IT’S DAVINCI!” They screamed in unison, their voices echoing loudly through the library. 

Maybe things would be okay. 

 

~

  
  


Hell week was, well, hell. Renjun felt on the verge of collapsing as he trudged to the library at ass o’clock in the morning to borrow a book since he wouldn’t have any time later in the day before the library closed, between classes and extra hours at the studio to prepare for the upcoming dance showcase. 

“Hey, Wonwoo,” Renjun weakly set the book he needed onto the counter causing Wonwoo to look up from a book he seemed extremely invested. 

“You look...worse for wear,” Wonwoo observed, glasses falling down his nose, as he stamped the book. 

“You could say that,” Renjun half-heartedly chuckled. “What are you reading?” 

“Just about the importance of time,” Wonwoo waved him off. “But have you ever heard the myth of the grant wishing clock on campus?” 

“No, why I ever want to?” Renjun deadpanned.

“Basically if you talk to the clock in the tower at three o’clock on the third day of the month, it will grant one wish you ask.” 

“Wonwoo, I think you need to get out more,” Renjun wore a face of disbelief.  _ Who believes this kind of shit?  _

“I just thought you might want to know,” Wonwoo gave him a knowing as he looked back down at the book he was currently reading.  _ Okay, he’s acting really fucking weird. I need whatever he’s taking.  _

Renjun sat back in the area he had claimed as his since the beginning of the year and pondered on what Wonwoo told him.  _ Why the fuck did I need to know that? _

He suddenly was overcomed by unwilling laughter when he looked up at the ceiling fan above him.

  
  


(In his chemistry class that day, Ten’s hair had caught on fire over a bunsen burner during a lab. Don’t ask how. “WHERE’S MY HAIR!?!?” Ten sobbed as Taeyong patted the fire out on the remaining hair. 

In other words, it smelled like complete shit. Renjun could barely breathe as everyone had a face of disgust. Taeyong had done his best to air out the room but with little success. 

“Mr. Lee, I can’t breathe,” Donghyuck nagged, delicately pinching his nose. Renjun couldn’t help but roll his eyes. 

“How about using some of your Febreze,” Chenle suggested, vaguely gesturing to the cabinet overload with different types of Febreze.

“That’s a great idea! Good job, Chenle,” Taeyong affirmed, shuffling through the cabinet. “But what scent, they’re all so nice…” Everyone groaned, instantly regretting it as they got a stronger whiff of the smell. 

“Hawaiian breeze,” Johnny crowed from the very back of the classroom. Renjun shot him an extremely grateful look.  _ That's Yuta's favorite scent for his car,  _ Renjun suddenly remembered sadly. He shook his head, forgetting the memory for now. 

“Oh, this is gonna be so fucking efficient,” Taeyong marveled as stood on the wobbling office chair to spray the Hawaiian breeze scented Febreze directly into the rapidly spinning fan. He began to cough his intestines out as it blew back into his face. 

Renjun and Jaemin stared at each in a sort of disbelief.)

 

The smile on his face only grew as he thought about Jaemin’s eyes widening in shocked amusement of Taeyong struggling.  _ Oh, fuck my feelings.  _

  
  


~

  
  


“Seven months of preparation, the blood and tears, have come down to this single moment. This thread in time where we make it or we don’t. So get your shit together and let’s show the other teams the kind of sluts we are.” Donghyuck slut drop right in front of, a now flustered, Mark eating his croissant, causing him to drop it as he choked. Ok, maybe Donghyuck was being dramatic about it but what else did you honestly expect.  _ He may be a bitch but damn he knows how to motivate us.  _

“Bro,” was all Mark could say as he malfunctioned, croissant forgotten on the cold, hard floor. 

“Mark, do the line,” Donghyuck whined as he tugged at his sleeve. “You’re supposed to say lessgidit.” Mark stayed frozen as Donghyuck smacked him on the forehead. 

“We’ll just….just leave you lovers to your quarrel,” Soonyoung, their actual leader, slowly backed away, motioning for the rest of the team to follow. 

“We’re not together, just two bros doing bro-ly things,” Mark panicked, jumping away from Donghyuck. 

“Bitch, I’m hella gay,” Donghyuck raised his eyebrow in challenge. 

“Okay, bi,” Jisung announced before he shut the door on the two resuming their usual bickering.   _ I swear to god, they’re like an old couple.  _

As the team got into position waiting for the music to start, Renjun’s blood was pulsing through his veins at an ungodly rate. He felt like he was going to suffocate in his tight-fitting outfit, and his feet were threatening to detach at any moment as they were constricted into the slippers.

Then the first beat dropped and all of his worries flew off his fingertips as his muscles moved by themselves as they were conditioned to. Sweat dripped onto the stage but went unnoticed by the focused dancers. 

As it ended, Renjun was panting but he couldn’t stop the smile on his face. They did it. It was silent for a moment and the smile started to slide off his face. And then the audience stood onto their feet as they roared in awe. The team held hands with one another, shaking from adrenaline, as they bowed. Renjun could have cared more about Donghyuck holding his left hand, but at that moment he felt like he was dancing in the clouds.

As he finally went off the stage when the cheering finally ended, he was almost tackled over by Jaemin.  

“Oh!” Renjun yelped as he awkwardly wrapped his arms around Jaemin’s abdomen. They seemed to fit together perfectly as if they were molded for each other. They stay like that for what felt like an eternity before Jaemin gained his senses and suddenly pulled away. 

“You...you did….god, you looked fucking amazing,” Jaemin stumbled on his words as he rubbed his neck. He shoved the arrangement he was holding into Renjun’s grasp. 

“Thank you,” Renjun was able to stutter back. He heard a gag from behind him causing him to turn around. Jisung smiled at him knowingly, and Renjun squinted his eyes at him.

“Hey, we’re going to hang out in Donghyuck’s dorm tonight to celebrate. You guys should come.” 

“I’m not sure,” Renjun hesitated, not wanting to be in the same facility as Donghyuck and cause trouble, not tonight.

“But we’re going to have grease-induced pizza and watch the movie It,” Jisung baited them with the temptation.

“Watch what?” Renjun tilted his head, having never heard of the foreign film.

“You’ve never seen it??” Chenle gasped as he appeared next to Jisung’s side, folding himself into the younger. 

“No, should I have?” 

“We’re in,” Jaemin broke without hesitation. “You uncultured swine.” 

“It's going to be so much fun!” Chenle exclaimed, jumping up and down, hitting his boyfriend in the face.

It was not fun.

Renjun shook, his orange juice spilling everywhere, as Pennywise jumped out of nowhere. He gripped onto Jaemin’s chest in fear and felt a laugh vibrate through Jaemin’s chest. Probably at him, whatever. 

As the screen credits began to roll and Mark turned on the lights, Renjun shoved himself off Jaemin when he realized what position they were in. “So did you like it?” 

“yeah... it was great. Especially when all the blood went pssh out of the sink. Loved that,” Renjun made timid hand gestures, his face ghastly pale. “How about you?” 

“The movie was alright, but you were the real horror,” Jaemin joked at Renjun’s expense, teasingly poking his side.

“Asshole,” Renjun glared, moving away from Jaemin to sit on the floor with Chenle instead.

“No the real horror was something he did a few weeks back,” Chenle smirked as he popped a piece of candy into his mouth.

“I hate you guys so much,” Renjun groaned into one of the couch’s pillows as Chenle recounted the story. 

(“Two slices in a toaster, five feet apart because they’re not toast,” Renjun hummed to himself as he placed the bread in the toaster. At first, he only swayed in place as Love Scenario came on through his headphones because he had just gotten his braces off. Needless to say, that didn’t last long as he danced around like an idiot, belting out the words to the song. 

Suddenly, a ringing goes off in his kitchen (indicating his toast was done) and Renjun tripped on his own feet from the sudden sound. “FUCK!” He hissed as he gripped his ankle, that was already beginning to throb, with one hand, the other dialing Chenle on his phone.

“Hello?” 

“I am either hallucinating due to extreme hunger right now or I just sprained my ankle again.”

“HOW? It just healed!” Chenle screamed like a dolphin into the phone. “You complete dumbass!”)

  
  


~

 

As Renjun was walking out from practice, he was met with an interesting sight, to say the least.

“I HATE RUNNING! I FUCKING HATE RUNNING! WHY AM I DOING THIS!” Jaemin screamed into the air as he ran around the school’s track, shirt soaked in sweat.

“Then why are you doing it?” Renjun stopped Jaemin in his tracks when he got near him. He had to use all of his will to keep his eyes on Jaemin's face. Which proved to be more difficult than you'd think as his hair stuck to his face with sweat.  _ Wow, if this was me I'd be looking like a whole rat. _

“Because I’m an idol,” Jaemin replied with a tone that said duh. “Ugh, I'm so hungry,” Jaemin whined as he gripped his stomach.

“Here,” Rejun throws the bag of chips he just got from the vending machine. “Go ahead and eat it, I'm not that hungry.”

Jaemin started to tear it open, but sighed and stopped himself. “I shouldn't eat it. I'm on a diet.”

“Look at how much control people have over your life,” Renjun scoffed, yanking the bag from Jaemin and opening it before giving it back. “Eat and drink whatever you want.”

“It's not that simple, Renjun,” Jaemin laid down onto the grassy field.

“Why not?” Rejun lightly kicked him on the side. “Get up.”

“But I can't feel my legs!” Jaemin whined and Rejun rolled his eyes.

“That wouldn't be a problem if you ate!”

“That doesn't make any sense-” Jaemin started to reason but Renjun wasn't done.

“As long as you find a way to burn the calories, eat whatever you want!” Renjin pushed Jaemin, who groaned in pain, over onto his stomach. “Do push-ups!” Jaemin reluctantly began to kill his arms too, muscles burning. “See, easy!” Renjun chirped and fed Jaemin a chip before he sat on Jaemin's back. 

“Easy for you to say,”Jaemin fell onto the ground again before snatching the bag out of Renjun's grasp, giving up.  _ I’ll just do it tomorrow,  _ Jaemin lied to himself. Being in shape was overrated anyways.

  
  


~

  
  


**sodium jaemide:** Are you ignoring me? 

**sodium jaemide:** I’m sending the alphabet until u reply

**sodium jaemide:** A

**sodium jaemide:** B

**sodium jaemide:** C

**sodium jaemide:** D

**sodium jaemide:** E

 

**rento box:** F U C K  O F F

 

**[sodium jaemide changed rento box’s name to rento’s mentos]**

 

**rento’s mentos:** …..

**rento’s mentos:** everyday, I get a notification from you and

**rento’s mentos:** everyday I hope that i feel the cold embrace of death

 

**sodium jaemide:** but I was going to share my mentos :((

 

**[rento’s mentos has left the chat]**

 

**sodium jaemide:** i think the fuck not

 

**[sodium jaemide added rento’s mentos]**

 

**rento’s mentos** : end my suffering

 

**sodium jaemide:** [image attached]

**Sodium jaemide:** come over and eat them with me pls

 

**rento’s mentos:** fuck u look so cute

**rento’s mentos:** im on my way

 

**sodium jaemide:** :)

 

Jaemin twisted his necklace in his hand as looked at Renjun, who had fallen asleep next to him and looked like an angel. Right then, he felt there wasn’t anything wrong in the world as his eyes began to dip, the temptation of sleep taking over him. 

When Jaemin woke up to the sun burning into his eyes, he was unable to move his arm because of something laying on it.  “What the fuck?” He didn’t remember that much of his dream, but he’s pretty sure the angry smurf that kicked him repeatedly in his dream was Renjun. 

A half-asleep Renjun snuggled into his chest and Jaemin buried his face into Renjun’s hair, contently, and sighed. The reality was so much better than his best dreams anyway. 

“Are you awake?” Jaemin asked, knowing full well the other was falling back out of consciousness. He sat up and stretched his limbs before placing his bare feet on the cold hardwood floor. 

“Bitch, what the fuck you want?” Renjun violently flopped over to unhappily face the voice that woke him. 

“Get up, the sun’s out,” Jaemin yanked the curtain back and Renjun immediately covered his face as he groaned in annoyance.

“What am I supposed to do? Photosynthesize?” Renjun hissed at the other. 

“If that sort of optimism isn’t what gets a man up in the morning, I don’t know what does,” Jaemin grinned as he pulled the pillow out from under Renjun and hit him on the head with it. Renjun ruffled his hair back in place before falling back under the covers. Jaemin slapped the small boy’s leg in pure adoration. “Come on, we need to go to the library to study.” A grunt in response. “I’ll buy you a new Moomin lamp.” The sheets flew everywhere as he flung himself up. 

“Okay but it has to be the latest edition,” Renjun poked Jaemin in the cheek. 

“Of course,” Jaemin smiled brightly at his cuteness causing Renjun’s face to warm.  _ He’s going to be the death of me.  _

 

~

 

Finals were finally fucking over and Renjun would’ve melted to the floor right then and there if Jaemin hadn’t offered him a churro for doing well.

 

(“How did you know I love churros?” Renjun looked up at Jaemin in awe, knowing full well he never told the younger. 

“When we first meet, you were practically cooking them yourself by the way you were staring at them,” Jaemin shrugged like it was no big deal.)

Renjun scarfed down the cinnamon goodness as Jaemin looked at him amused, almost endearingly. “Why do you even like them so much? They’re practically diabetes in the form of a stick.”

“Whenever I’d miss my parents, my grandfather would take me to get some because my mom loved them. And...I don’t know, they’re just a comfort food now,” Renjun’s voice was full of nostalgia. “Anyway, let’s go get that coffee I owe you.”

“You don’t owe me anything, Renjun.”

“Ok, then let’s look at it as my treat for you doing so well on your math final.”

“I got a 68,” Jaemin looked at him oddly. 

“Just shut up and let me get you a damn coffee,” Renjun dragged him toward Love Shot cafe, where Jungwoo was probably working at that moment, indicating that it was not up for discussion. 

 

( Since he worked there as well, Jungwoo allowed him to make it as long as he paid for it. 

As he was putting the finishing touches on it, Jaemin looked at him as if he murdered his mother. “What?”

“What are you doing?” Jaemin asked, looking as if he was actually offended by something Renjun did.

“Putting some creamer in your coffee.”

“NO! I only put coffee in my coffee!” Jaemin leaned over the counter and snatched the creamer away from the tiny hands. 

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Renjun let his head slam onto the counter in slight frustration with a mix of confusion. 

“What’s wrong with me is I haven’t had a single sip of coffee since the beginning of this fanfic!” 

           “Okay, you addict. Number five much?”)

 

As they were walking out of the coffee shop (“Have a brewtiful rest of the day!” Jungwoo called at them as they were leaving.), Renjun tried to untangle his headphones to listen to music. He stuck his tongue out in frustration and it was  _ absolutely adorable, I wish I took a photo.  _

“Here let me,” Jaemin grabbed for them to help him. He shouted, “Aha!” as he undid the last knot. 

“Thank you,” Renjun plugged it into his phone, offering Jaemin one of the earbuds. Jaemin pushed one into his ear and then cupped Renjun’s face to put the other one into Renjun’s ear. As Renjun hit play, the first note of Bad Boy began and Jaemin immediately started singing along with it when the verse came. 

Renjun, suddenly distracted by Jaemin’s moving lips, leaned forward a fraction of an inch with a sudden urge to kiss, entranced. Eyes blinking in realization, he quickly pulled himself back to stop himself as he realized what he was doing.  _ What am I doing? He would never even like me like that.  _ His thought was stopped by a loud shriek. 

“OI FELIX! COME HERE BRO!” had rung through the courtyard as two Australian transfer students chased one another, running into Renjun and causing his churro to fall onto the ground. Renjun flicked them off as Jaemin cackled and fell to the ground.

“Get up, look stupid,” Renjun looked down at Jaemin, who was sprawled out on the sidewalk, headphones long forgotten. 

“If that was stupid, what do you call what you were doing?”

“I hate you sometimes. You’re such an idiot,” Renjun blushed in embarrassment, kicking Jaemin in the side. Jaemin only laughed harder, trying to breathe. 

“Your lovable idiot,” Jaemin blew a kiss at him and Renjun swatted it away as he flushed even more.

“I take it back. I just hate you.” Jaemin pouted like a kicked puppy.  _ Cute. _

  
  


~

  
  


“I can’t believe I’m actually doing this,” Renjun exasperated as he walked up the clock tower stairs, calves burning.  _ What the fuck am I thinking? Fuck you, Wonwoo. Fuck you, stairs. Fuck you, legs.  _ He could just imagine Wonwoo glaring at him through his spectacles and he shivered at the thought. 

“Hi, Mr. uhhhh grant wishing clock,” Renjun bowed in front of the face of the clock. “I think I’m going fucking crazy but I heard a rumor that, well, rumor has it that if I come here at three o’clock on the third day that you would grant any wish I had.” Renjun shut his eyes, cringing at himself.  _ What the hell am I doing?  _ “What I should I do about Jaemin? I’m so confused,” Renjun confessed to the clock. 

“You’re the only one that can decide,” an ominous voice came from the rafters above as the clock started to spin rapidly. Renjun almost passed out from fright. 

“JISOOS CHRIST! I AM GOING CRAZY! YOU CAN FUCKING TALK?” Renjun yelped, ungracefully falling down onto his ass. Jaemin, the one who was in the rafters, stifled a laugh as he climbed down. “NA JAEMIN! YOU ASSHOLE! ARE YOU CRAZY?”

“You’re face! Oh my god, that was too funny,” Jaemin bent over next to Renjun, laughing uncontrollably. He pulled Renjun up and was smacked repeatedly by the small boy. “Renjun, did you actually believe in this legend? Oh my god, I can’t believe I actually convinced Wonwoo to tell you.” Renjun felt his eye twitch,  _ Why did I ever like him again??? _

“What.” smack. “The.” smack. “Fuck.” smack. “Is.” smack. “WRONG WITH YOU!” Jaemin winced, clutching onto his arm, as Renjun went full Molly Weasley on him. “Why the hell were you up there?!? You could have gotten hurt, you idiot!”

“I come up here whenever I need to think. You know get some fresh air,” Jaemin shrugged. Renjun slightly glared at him but stopped hitting. “This is the one place I can be alone, without worrying if there are any fans watching.” 

“What were you thinking about, you know before I interrupted,” Renjun paused before elaborating. “If you want to talk about it.”

“Same thing as you.”

“Oh,” Renjun picked at the bottom of his hoodie as Jaemin moved closer, leaning on the railing of the tower. Jaemin tucked a loose strand of Renjun’s hair, that was falling in his face, behind his ear before delicately placing it on his cheek, warming Renjun’s face. 

He felt Jaemin’s trembling warm breath on his lips and tilted his head until there was a soft pressure on his mouth. It was like a dollop of sugar, Jaemin’s sweet lips, as his own lips pressed deeper into the kiss. He felt a dull ache of disappointment when Jaemin pulled away. 

He sighed contently, unable to open his eyes a few moments after their lips finally broke contact. He felt Jaemin press his forehead on his. A shiver went up Renjun’s spine as Jaemin’s hand suddenly wove through his hair. “Are you still confused?”

“Maybe you should try one more time,” Renjun managed to say before melting right back into another kiss. 

  
  


~

  
  


“Are you sure you have to go?” Jaemin cupped his hands around Renjun’s face after tugging his jacket snug. It was their spring break, and Jaemin had made plans for them but were long forgotten due to Taeil getting sick. 

“I can’t let my grandfather die, idiot,” Renjun eye rolled but still squished into Jaemin’s affection.

Jaemin sighed, “I know, I’m just going to miss you.”

“You better,” Renjun pulled him into a hug. 

“Do you have your passport? Phone? Wallet?” Jaemin rambled, squeezing Renjun back so tight it felt like he was losing circulation in his arms. 

Renjun leaned his head on Jaemin’s shoulder and softly breathed him in. “I have to go now,” he pulled away reluctantly, losing warmth. 

“Wait,” Jaemin pulled him close. “Promise you’ll call me every day?”

Renjun rolled his eyes again but giggled, “It’s only a few days.” 

“Leave me alone, I’m going to miss my boyfriend,” Jaemin kissed him on the cheek as a voice overhead called out Renjun’s flight. 

“Well, your boyfriend is going to miss his flight if you don’t let him go.” 

“Good,” Jaemin tried to tug him into another death grip but was stopped by an amused Renjun smacking him in the chest. “Be careful.”

“I will,” Renjun gave him one last squeeze then picked up his bag that was waiting on the floor. “Bye.” He gave Jaemin a reluctant wave. Overcome by emotions, he turned around quickly and walked off, knowing that if he looked at Jaemin any longer that he would turn back around and stay.  _ Shit, I'm going to miss that big idiot. _

His phone vibrated in his pocket as he was waiting for the other passengers to board the plane. Looking at the contact name displayed on the screen, his heart skipped a beat.  **Sodium jaemide.** It was a ridiculous contact name (forcibly made because of Jaemin, mind you), but Renjun felt the butterflies in his stomach stir awake nonetheless. 

“Miss me already,” Renjun teased as he answered. In truth, he was extremely hypocritical at that moment as his ears earned for the sound of Jaemin's voice.

“Shut up, Moriarty,” Jaemin pulled on a terribly thick British accent. 

“That, that was Oscar worthy. Truly brilliant,” Renjun replied with a just as thick of an accent. Possibly thicker and maybe not British??

“Shut up, we’re Korean.”

“Bitch since when,” Renjun deadpanned, looking at his Chinese passport that was lying in his lap.  _ Betrayed by his own bitch, Renjun 2000-2019. _

“Fuck...wait,” Jaemin realized as his mental breakdown began. 

“No shit Sherlock.”

“Wonwoah…” Renjun could imagine Jaemin's stupid face where his mouth is slightly open, eyebrows furrowed, and his eyes-

Renjun shook his head, getting rid of the mental image.  _ Not helping, Renjun. _

“I'm blocking you. I want a divorce,” Renjun moved the phone away from his face and quickly whispered a quick “I’ll call you later” into the speaker before hanging up.

Putting in his headphones, alligator by Monsta X began to play as he looked out the window to watch the scenery as the plane ascended.

Renjun stretched his stiff limbs as he walked toward the exit of the airport, to look for his driver.  Eyes wandering, he spotted a sign that said  _ the fucking devil.  _ Before even looking at the person who was holding the sign, Renjun knew it was for him. He let out the longest sigh as he began to trudge forward, reluctantly dragging his luggage behind him.

Climbing into the car after putting the suitcase into the back from him, his personal driver, Yuta, greeted him. “How's Seoul treating you?” Yuta grinned at him through the mirror. 

“It's...good,” Renjun didn't elaborate, unsure what to say. He'd known Yuta since they were little before Yuta was his driver and knew only a few phrases of Chinese. But now, he drew blank on what to say to his childhood friend. He began to feel the guilt eat at him for not telling Yuta about leaving.

           “Oh cut the bullshit, Renjun. I've never seen you glow this much in your whole life. It's refreshing to see for once and I-” Yuta stopped himself from rambling, noticing Renjun's silence. “I'm not mad at you by the way if that's what you're wondering.”

          “How?”

          “What do you mean?”

          “How are you not mad?”

          “I saw how miserable you were here, don't even try to deny it,” Yuta said when Renjun opened his mouth to protest. “And besides my 

world doesn't revolve all around you, rich boy.”

          “I missed you,” Renjun admitted, looking out the window at the tree line. 

          “I missed you too, kid. So fill in me, bitch. These muffins aren't going to themselves.”

          “What the hell does that even mean?” 

          “Have you learn not to question me yet?”

          “I see Hawaiian breeze is still your favorite scent,” Renjun chose to ignore the comment, drawing attention to the air freshener stapled onto the roof of the car.

          “I'm throwing you to the curb if you make a single comment about it,” Renjun stayed silence but couldn't help the occasional snort that would come out. 

  
  


~

 

     “He hasn't been feeling great lately since you left, no thanks to you disappearing,” Ten, their butler, bluntly warned Renjun, who winced at the unintentionally harsh words. “Just...be prepared.”

    Taeil looked even worse than Renjun imagined. He knew his grandfather has caught a cold but this, this was not a cold. 

    “I’m fine. Golden ages at its finest.” He wasn't fine. Everything about him helplessly screamed the opposite. And it was then that Renjun finally took notice of the prominent gray hairs streaking his black ones, the wrinkles around his eyes, the absence of any melatonin and in its place a sickly grey, and, the worst of it all, the exhaustion written all over his face.  _ Why did I never notice before? All my life, I never once thought he-  _ that Taeil could die, too absorbed in the innocence of his youth. Renjun never felt so blind, so naive, to the reality of life as then. 

      “Don't worry about me so much or you'll end up being the sick one,” Taeil weakly rubbed his head in affection and Renjun gave him a small smile,  _ fake. _ “Go get some sleep, you must be exhausted after your flight.”  _ Like you're one to talk.  _

      “Okay, good night. Don't forget to take your medicine,” Renjun hesitantly left, body going into autopilot. Renjun stuffed himself into his room, huddled in a blanket in the dark with his laptop as the only source of light. (ILLUMINATED BY THE LIGHT OF MY LAPTOP. CHOP CHOP IM COOKING UP A HOT POT.) His body felt numb all over. His brain a never-ending spiral, circling around the same thought. Looking down at his hands, he was suddenly reminded of Jaemin.

       He desperately needed Jaemin at that moment, to hold him in his comforting arms. To see him. To hear him telling him everything would be alright. So he did the second best thing instead. Facetime. And god, was it the best decision of his life.

      When Jaemin answered after a few rings, Renjun froze. Jaemin was wearing a pink sweater that suited him so well and his ear was adorned with- 

     A dangling earring that Renjun gave to the other when he last saw him.

 

     (“Are you sure, I know how much you love it?” Jaemin clasped onto the earring Renjun offered to him. Jaemin had a press conference, a few days after Renjun's departure, regarding his official comeback.

      “I have never been so sure in my life,” Renjun smiled at him wrapping his smaller hands around Jaemin's hand that was holding it)

 

“Hi, Injunnie!” Jaemin smiled at the phone when he recognized Renjun. He didn't notice himself but he moved the phone closer to his face, causing Renjun's throat to restrict. “Injunnie? Is something wrong?” He asked, voice overflowing in concern when noticed Renjun’s complete silence.

       “Your face,” Renjun flusteredly replied, quickly hanging up on impulse. He threw his phone across the bed and buried his face into his pillow to scream in complete and utter embarrassment.  _ This is why I can't do fuzzy fucking feelings!  _ Peeking up from the pillow, he sees his phone lighting up. Jaemin. He rubbed his eyes out of self-induced stress before answering, covering his face with his sweater paws.

      “You sure know how to sweet talk me,” Jaemin teased Renjun, who completely hid his face due to the deep red dusting his whole face.

      “Shut up,” Renjun whined, now dreading seeing Jaemin.  _ Talk about whiplash. _

     “So cute,” Jaemin cooed before turning serious. “But Renjun.”

      “Mhm?”

      “What was bothering you early?” Jaemin's eyebrows furrowed in worry. Rejun sighed,  _ I suppose I'm going to have to tell him eventually. _

      “It's just that my-”. He was cut off by Ten vacuuming outside his room.  _ Who the fuck vacuums at who knows god when in the morning?!?!  _ Ten always had a habit to be there whenever it was inconvenient to Renjun.

      “Babe, what is that?” Renjun could barely make out what Jaemin was saying.

      “I WILL CALL YOU AGAIN TOMORROW WHEN SOMEONE ISN'T FUCKING VACUUMING LIKE THE DIRTY HO THEY ARE!” Renjun, not so subtle, pointed at Ten for him to hear. Not that Ten cared in the slightest.

      “You aren't wrong,” Ten stuck his head through the creak of the door, winking. 

      “Jesus christ,” Renjun groaned. “What the hell is wrong with you.”

      “Well since you asked…” Ten walked in and plopped down next him. Renjun realized his mistake then. “I have some daddy issues for starters. Hendery-”

      “Please just end my suffering now. I will literally beg.”

      “Ooo, kinky. I like it.” Renjun kicked him off the bed, wanting his bed to stay pure.  _ How is he still employed? _

      “For the good of mankind, never speak again.”

      “I'll be quiet if you choke me,” Ten purred before breaking out in laughter. Renjun opted to just stare at him in an unsurprised disgust.

  
  


~

 

             “I really would love to meet him,” Jaemin said into the phone. Renjun had kept to his promise from the previous night as him and Taeil were having lunch together outside in the gardens. “What's your address? I'll come down for a few days.”

           “What are you talking about?” Renjun panicked as he looked at the big, empty house to the right of him. “Don’t be ridiculous! That's a lot of money and I'm only here for a few more days.”

           “Injunnie, I miss you. Just tell me. You know I'm not worried about money,” the idol whined at his boyfriend. Taeil snatched the phone from Renjun and informed Jaemin to go to a location unknown to Renjun then hung up.

           “Grandfather!” Renjun hid his head in his arms on the table.  _ This is not happening right now.  _

           “Ah, young love,” Taeil took a bite of his sandwich in amusement. “Those were the days. Pack your bags, we have places to be.”

           Taeil must have had retrograde amnesia due to bumping his head on the car earlier that morning because it was, in fact, not the days. Renjun looked around at the family’s cozy vacation cabin in the middle of nowhere. “I didn't even know we owned this place,” Renjun trailed off as he took notice of the dirt floor. “Why do we own this place?”

           “What are you going on about?” Taeil, exhausted, sat at the danky table in the kitchen, which was also the living room. “I just bought it.”

           “Why?” Renjun looked at Taeil in disbelief. “It's completely worthless to us.”

           “Exactly,” Taeil gave him a look as if he knew something Renjun didn't, which was the case. 

           “Please explain.”

           “Jaemin doesn't know we're rich, right? Well, I'm testing to see if he's actually okay with you being ‘poor’,” Taeil used his hands to indicate quotes around poor for a sort of emphasis.

          “Grandfather, he's not like that,” Renjun protested but sat down across from him nonetheless. And now they wait.

          As Jaemin's taxi pulled deeper into the woods, he noticed Renjun at the beginning of a trail. He was waiting for Jaemin, sitting on a bicycle that had a wagon oddly duct taped to the back of it.

“Right here is fine,” he told the driver,  who nodded in acknowledgment, and grabbed his small bag of things before hopping out of the car. “Renjun….you look...good?” He wasn’t lying per se but it was just odd to see the other wearing a sun hat and very worker type clothing. 

“I was just helping hang the clothes for Grandfather,” Renjun gave Jaemin a quick squeeze before getting back on the bike. “Get in! You can help me cook when we get back.” Jaemin threw his bag into the wagon and jumped in as Renjun started to pedal. 

They didn’t get very far.

“Do you need help?” Jaemin looked at Renjun as he struggled with the pedals, they hadn’t even moved an inch. 

“No! It just needs a little shove,” Renjun continued to struggle. Eventually, the bike went unbalanced and he fell over with it. “Okay, I might need a little bit of help.” 

“I’ll push the wagon,” Jaemin chuckled, grabbing hold out the back of the wagon. 

“How did you even get it to the trail earlier?” Jaemin fell onto the dirt floor of the house, deeply breathing.

“I don’t know!” Renjun cried out before grabbing a bottle of water and chugging it with shaky hands. “But let’s go to the other room, my grandfather is waiting.” Renjun stood up, legs wobbling, and offered a hand to Jaemin, who gratefully accepted. 

“What took you two so long?” Taeil was sitting in the same place as before but with a cup of tea in hand this time.

“Hi, I’m Renjun’s grandfather. You must be the Jaemin my Renjun talks so highly about all the time,” Taeil roughly coughed, and Renjun, who blushed at the comment, gently rubbed him on the back. “And if you haven’t noticed I’m dying.” 

“I’m sorry about that sir,” Jaemin awkwardly rubbed his neck, not knowing what he was supposed to say in a situation like this. 

“No worries, I’ve lived a good life. I got to raise Renjun,” Taeil paused as if wondering if he wanted to say his next words. He did. “But I want to make sure my Renjun is in good hands when I’m gone.”

“Of course, I will take good care of him.” 

“I think you will,” Taeil looked at him, contemplating for a second. “Go get some rest, I’m sure your flight was exhausting. You can help me out in the field tomorrow.” 

One thing you should know about Jaemin is he was from the city and had never seen a farming tool in his life, much less held and used one. So imagine the results when Taeil asked him to till the 5 acres.

“I did it!” Jaemin screamed at Taeil, throwing the hoe to the side and jumping up and down. 

“Good job,” Taeil nodded in approval, now it’s time to do everything else.” (The camera zoomed from his face, showing the tiny area he actually did.) 

“Oh man,” Jaemin groaned, he started to pick up the hoe again but was stopped by Taeil. 

“Use an actual tiller this time. Have fun, I’m going to go sleep now,” Taeil retreated back into the small cabin. Jaemin pulled out his phone,  _ I have a fucking brilliant idea.  _

“Hey, I thought you were supposed to be helping my grandfather?” Renjun, who was laying on a blanket in the dark to look at the stars, asked Jaemin. Jaemin plopped down next to Renjun, running his hand lightly through the older’s hair. 

“I am,” Jaemin pointed over to the cow in the field. “I bought a cow and it’s tiling for me.” 

“City boy, I don’t think that’s how it works,” Renjun lightly laughed, eyes sparkling, and Jaemin’s heart warmed. 

“I’m really glad I got to go out here and see your childhood home. It’s so refreshing out here, even with the farming,” Jaemin laid down onto the blanket, gazing at the stars with Renjun. “Hey, there’s something a want you to hear,” Jaemin pulled his phone out, that had headphones connected to them. 

“What is it?” Renjun looked over at him as Jaemin put one of the buds into Renjun’s ear.

“It’s my new song” was all Jaemin said before he started it. 

The recording of Jaemin softly hummed into his ears and Renjun was immediately entranced. He closed his eyes, taking in the overwhelming feeling as he listened to the beautiful voice while also trying to focus on the lyrics and the beat. It was a lot to take in and was all so  _ perfect.  _

“What’s it called,” Renjun tilted his head in wonder, heart skipping several beats ahead after listening. 

“To Be Your Love is what I am thinking,” Jaemin gave him a fond look, communicating with his eyes, and Renjun understood exactly what he meant. 

  
  
  


~

  
  


           Now that they were back at their actual home without Jaemin, Taeil asked Renjun to stay with him that night. He knew it was almost time. But he had one thing he had to clear so he could truly go in peace. He loosely grabbed onto Renjun's hand, only asking him to sit and listen.

           “When I say I did everything for your own good, I meant it. There's something I need to tell you that I've been hiding from you for a while,” Taeil struggled to breathe. “But I think you're ready to hear it now.”

           “You're parents were once young like you, and reckless. They had everything planned down to a tea. But then you happened, you weren't planned a-and they just left you! When I heard about it, I rushed to get you. You were just a little kid!” Taeil coughed from the overwhelming remembrance of distress. “I was and still am an old, widowed man, Renjun. But I couldn't let you into the system no matter how incapable I was. And that's was the proudest decision I have ever made in my life. You are my precious grandson no matter what,” Taeil weakly stretched his hand out to rub Renjun's cheek. Renjun had to meet him halfway.

           “I love you, Renjun. I always did even though-” Taeil eyelids began to flutter closed, Renjun gripped on tighter, begging him to stay awake for just a little longer. “even though...I didn't...didn't always...wasn't always…” His sentence trailed off, never being finished as Taeil breath finally stopped for good.

“Grandpa? Grandpa?” Renjun wailed into the sheets, gripping tightly on Taeil’s now limp hand. “GRANDPA! STOP IT! STOP! IT'S NOT FUNNY! It's not. It's not funny. Wake up….please,” Renjun shook him as he begged with death itself even though it was no use. His pain bearing itself on him was indescribable. Renjun felt like he was suffocating on the air surrounding him as he choked on his sorrow.

 

           (“I want mommy!” A much younger Renjun wailed, fighting Taeil's hold on him.

            “I'm so sorry, mommy isn't here right now,” Taeil tried so hard to hold back the tears cascading down his cheeks as he failed to calm the little.  _ How am I going to care of him, if I can't even do something as simple as this? _ Passing strangers gave him worried glances as he walking down the street lined by vendors.

            Suddenly the toddler stopped wailing, nose scrunching as he smelled intently. “I want!”

             “I told you, mommy-” Taeil started, exasperated. 

             “No! I want!” Renjun demandingly pointed at the vendor that was wafting the churros’ scent towards the crowd.

             Renjun didn't let out a single cry for the rest of the day after he contently chewed on his churro.)

 

          You’d think his face would be covered in tears as he grieved, but Renjun was only able to laugh in that dull moment, craving for more churros than he could consume.

  
  


~

  
  


**pork:** hey bro

**pork:** if you’re not busy

**pork:** meet me here\

**pork:** [location attached]

 

The sight Renjun was meet with was breathtaking. The school’s big tree was shining brightly with fairy lights covering it and trailing around its trunk. And the people standing under it-

“Happy birthday!” Everyone shouted when they saw Renjun approaching. Renjun smiled widely as Mark, Jisung, and Jaemin lit sparklers and started running towards him. 

“Come on!” They dragged him toward the other three, who were lighting the candles on top of a very questionable cake. 

 

(“I tried,” Jaehyun awkwardly rubbed his neck. 

“I love it,” Renjun replied happily. “It’s cute.”) 

 

Renjun’s eyes sparkled, eyes threatening to start watering, as they sang happy birthday to him. “Thank you guys,” he might have cried, just a little. 

“Make a wish,” Jaemin tugged at his sleeve, making Renjun’s bag fall off his shoulder and onto the ground.

“I don’t need to. I already have you guys,” Renjun admitted cheesily. 

“Aww!” Everyone pulled him in for a group hug as Renjun wiped his happy tears away. They eventually parted to eat the cake. 

“Happy birthday Injunnie,” Jaemin took his hands into his as the others ate under the tree, making Renjun sway back and forth. 

“You too,” Renjun paused. “Wait, fuck-”

At that moment, Jaemin placed the necklace that he wore every day around Renjun. Renjun looked up at him in confusion. “I love music a lot, and you’re my heart stealer so I thought it was only suiting.” 

“Oh, you’re greasy,” Renjun picked at his cardigan as Jaemin sent him a wink. “Don’t do that ever again.”

“Guys, I have a surprise,” Chenle summoned them to follow him away from the tree. They walked all the way to an open field before he stopped. “Wait right here. I’ll be back in just a second.” As he walked off, Renjun realized he left his backpack back by the tree when he blew out the cake. 

“Nana, I left my bag.” 

“Let’s go get it. We’ll be right back,” Jaemin informed the others before pulling Renjun’s hand into his grip 

 

(Immediately everyone checked their phones. 

Mark groaned as he turned to Jisung, “Shit! Hyuck is pissed we are celebrating Renjun’s birthday and we didn’t tell him about it.”

“Let’s fucking go, I swear to god he needs to chill the fuck out sometimes,” Jisung beckoned for Mark to go start the car as he informed the others. “Can you tell them we had to go?”

“Of course,” Jaehyun said and Jisung walked off, thanking him.

“Uh, babe,” Doyoung looked down at his phone, which was ringing. “We’re late for work.”

“Shit!” Jaehyun yelled, breaking off into a run with Doyoung. As they scrambled onto Doyoung’s motorcycle, they began to laugh at their situation. “Should we have waited for the other three to come back?”

“Nah, they’ll be fine on their own,” Doyoung reassured Jaehyun as he revved up the motorcycle before speeding off down the street.) 

 

Jaemin sat down next to Renjun, seeing his eyes pooling as he looked down at a photo of baby him and a younger Taeil, that he must have grabbed out of his bag when he checked to make sure all of his belongings were still in there. 

“Is that you and-” Jaemin stopped himself. “Oh, Renjun.” Jaemin wrapped his arm around Renjun’s shoulders. “It’s going to be okay.”

Renjun leaned into Jaemin’s chest, tears falling uncontrollably. “I can’t believe he’s gone...just like that.” Jaemin ran his hands through the older boy’s hair as a gentle comfort because for once he was unsure what to say. 

 

(“To think I actually prepared fireworks for them and they left me to be in love with one another,” Chenle scoffed, standing in the area where he told them to wait. He paced back and front, annoyance building up. “Why do I always end up helping other people? Well, I am not going to set off the fireworks this time.) 

“Renjun, look,” Jaemin, breaking the silence, pointed to the sky as fireworks went off. He turned and wiped the tears from the small boy’s face. “Fireworks.” 

“It’s beautiful,” Renjun awed at the lit sky, eyes gazing in wonder.

“But it’s not the most beautiful thing,” Jaemin didn’t look away from Renjun. “Not compared to you.”

“Shut up,” Renjun blushed deeply at Jaemin’s words.

“It’s true, nothing could ever compare to you,” Jaemin rested his hands on Renjun’s waist. Renjun’s heart jolted, his breath trembling in bashfulness from the shameless words. 

“Do you have ever think before you speak? You smooth mother fucker,” Renjun loosely wrapped his arms around Jaemin’s neck. Jaemin’s skin warmed him up like a hot chocolate on a cold winter’s night. 

“Do I ever do what now?” To which Renjun lightly glared at him. “But holy fuck, you’re eyelashes are so pretty,” Renjun could feel Jaemin’s breath as he focused on his eyes that were melting along with the sunset. “I bet I could balance a match on them.” 

“Why is it acceptable for you to be an idiot but not for me to point it out?” Renjun smiled up at Jaemin anyway, leaning in for a kiss. 

**Author's Note:**

> That was a spiritual journey for me. It accomplished nothing, enjoy.  
> I've been writing this for about a month now, give or take, and I'm glad it will stop surrounding my life now because I was getting tired.  
> Also, I'm aware of the two Ten's but I just thought both characters worked so.


End file.
